Chosen & Loved: A Story of Adoption and Redemption

Welcome to the Abundant Life Podcast, bringing you encouragement and challenging believers to spiritual change and growth by applying biblical principles to everyday life.

And now your hosts, Sasso Mendez and Ben Arellano.

Welcome, everybody, to the Abundant Life Podcast.

So, man.

Hey, man, what's going on?

What's up, man?

How you doing?

I'm good, man.

It's been a day.

I'll be honest with you.

It's been a week.

Yes.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah.

It's been really busy, but I miss getting paid by the hour.

Excited to do the show tonight.

We've got a repeat customer.

We got a frequent flyer that is back.

Well, our preferred vendor of any air conditioning needs, Nicole Mercado for the official sponsor of the Abundant Life Podcast.

Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Thank you.

I mean, I'm not as recurring as Rebecca.

She is the queen.

She is the queen.

Co host of the Abundant Life Podcast.

But I'm honored to be back to become one.

Right.

So it's.

Yeah.

Sasso.

And you know, I've been on 71 episodes.

Yeah.

What's a brother got to do to get a hat?

You just ask for one.

We'll get you one.

Done.

All right.

All right.

I love my black one.

And I love the old English shirt that Kate stole from me.

We'll get you another one when she gets married.

I'm gonna take it.

You guys should make it shirt with Tony because he did the commercial and, you know.

Yeah.

Like, he's like.

Okay.

You know, he makes that face for you.

Okay.

Okay.

You show him the picture.

I think Carlos shows him the picture.

I love the marketing ideas.

Yeah, There you go.

Yeah, I'll take that to the marketing department.

Or we should show him the picture from Tony from ftl.

You know, the.

Oh, yeah.

Where he's super annoyed by this guy and so he puts his head back.

That would make a good sticker.

Oh, wood.

Ben.

Ben.

Or my.

I mean, our.

I might send it to you.

So the picture's hilarious.

It's so funny.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

He was just super annoyed.

And he didn't hide his.

He doesn't hide him.

His facial expressions, his body language.

It was.

Yeah.

Especially when you're 64 and £315.

It's hard to hide those.

It's hard to hide anything at that point.

Exactly.

Yeah.

The funny part is I don't think anybody else noticed.

I noticed because I was sitting across And I took the picture.

Yeah, I can see his nose hairs.

Yeah.

Yeah.

100.

So, Nicole, on just a.

Another note, I see you had my dad over for dinner.

What did you guys.

What did you serve?

Oh, we served quesadillas, carne asada.

What else did we make?

I've not been to the Holy Grail, the mercado household, yet.

Did we?

What was that meat?

Maybe one day, this meal.

Is that what it's called?

Oh, that's just his beef.

Yeah.

Like a ribbon.

Type of like a flank.

Like a costo or something or.

Well, the flank is different.

That's the ra.

I think that's.

That's the.

We had carnesada, but we had these other little things that Carlos makes, and they have little bones in them, and he's.

He's looking at me like.

Like, short ribs.

Short ribs.

That's okay.

There we go.

Short ribs.

Okay.

Rebecca loves short ribs.

Yeah.

You grilled them or smoked him or what?

Grill.

Carlos said he grilled him.

Then I think I had maybe guacamole, Maybe.

I don't.

Oh, I made some jalapenos.

Jalapeno rice?

Yeah.

So it was good.

Jalapeno rice?

Yeah.

Your dad kept saying, I've never had green rice before.

And I was like, oh, is that good or bad?

I don't know, but it was delicious.

Never had jalapeno rice?

No.

Every rice.

I mean, Mexican rice that I've had is all, you know, red.

Red rice or orange rice, whatever.

Diane makes really good Mexican rice.

I know Rebecca does, too, but I've never had.

So this one, like, instead of a tomato, you put.

You blend jalapenos, cilantro, onion, garlic, and then you.

Chicken bouillon.

It can be.

If the jalapeno is hot, but, like, the sauce is green and it comes out really good.

Well, we know it's hotter than a tomato, right?

I mean.

I mean, the scobo levels are much higher, Right.

I've seen people.

They put.

You ever heard of el pato?

Instead of using tomato sauce, use that.

It's a little spicier.

And they have the jalapeno kind and.

Then the green one.

Yellow one.

The green one's a jalapeno.

Yellow is OG1, right?

Yeah, but it's good.

You.

We used to just dip on that, like salsa.

It's pretty cool.

When I was a kid, my dad and sister would get their own can.

I mean, my mom would share.

Oh, like, to dip.

Dip some chips?

Yeah.

I remember it was like, 10 for a dollar.

My mom would stock up.

They're still pretty cheap, I think.

Pretty inflation.

I'm probably like three bucks now.

Maybe, but maybe.

Oh, I can't even remember.

I think might be older.

Over a dollar each.

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

I think we need a dollar each.

No, over, I think.

And then they had the bigger can.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then they have the bigger can.

They just put little plastic over and put in the fridge.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, I'll have you over when.

When my kitchen's done being built.

You're remodeling it or what?

Yeah, we're actually moving it to an entire different part of the house.

Wow.

Like, are you adding on?

Well, we have an addition and it wasn't really being used for anything.

So our kitchen now is really small.

So we're moving it to that bigger area.

So when your mom and dad came, we already had the dining room moved there, but my cabinets were just all over the place.

So now they're actually on the wall waiting for counter.

Who's doing the work?

Carlos?

Well, yes, but also our dear pastor, Pastor Eckblad, who is a man of many talents.

You better never leave our church because I'm putting blood, sweat and tears in here.

I love you guys.

He does.

That is a labor locked us in.

Yes, he's.

He's definitely a blessing, that's for sure.

He has put in many long hours.

Like what I mean is, is he.

Working right now there while you guys are doing the body cast or.

You know what?

You joke about that, but hey, joking.

When we were in.

Where were we?

Sandwich Diego.

And when we went to Hawaii, he worked while we were gone on vacation.

He went to our house to paint and do all that.

So he's.

Does he have a key?

He's an angel.

He.

That.

That day he had a key which he promptly returns after he's done with his work.

So it doesn't seem like, you know, whatever.

I just seen your house at night when I dropped Carlos off.

Oh, yeah.

It's pretty scary at night, probably.

Is it?

I think he had Christmas lights on or something.

Oh, yeah.

That was a lot like the year round Christmas lights, you know.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Drew.

Mexican.

I know.

We have.

We have a neighbor.

I wait till the last possible minute to celebrate Christmas and then they promptly come off when it's time.

I just, I.

There's a season for it and like, I just can't celebrate Christmas right now, you know, it's still hot.

Some people do.

I want to get those ever lights.

That'S just me though.

My investment.

Yeah, those are pretty nice.

But four grand and just never put them up again.

Honestly, I don't.

I. I could care less about decorating Christmas.

It's just Diane, she loves.

Wow.

She loves the lights under the bus.

Yeah, it's okay.

But I. I love her.

So I do it.

I hope so.

I mean she's right here.

She's gonna throw a chunkle at you.

Would you say?

I like fall?

Actually that's my favorite decor.

And my birthday is usually the first day of fall, so.

When is your birthday?

September 22nd.

Oh, it's coming up.

It's coming up.

Oh, wow.

Wow.

That is coming up pretty soon.

So I will collecting cash and gifts all week, guys.

Cataloo Air.

Just look it up.

You can send.

She's registered at Amazon.

You can put my birthday.

My cash app handle at the bottom of the screen if you want Apple pay.

Apple pay on the YouTube channel.

Tony 22nd.

So that is.

What is that?

Sunday?

Monday.

Monday.

Sorry.

I think today's Wednesday.

Wow.

What do you got planned?

Nothing.

The fair?

No, nothing.

Nothing.

Yeah, I'm sure Carlos, he's a romantic guy.

He took you to Hawaii.

I'm sure he has something planned.

Well, my mother in law's birthday was yesterday, so we're gonna celebrate together on Saturday.

But really, I don't have parties for my birthday.

I just.

I know, but dinner or like what's your favorite restaurant?

Oh, I. PETA Jungle.

Really?

Yes.

I love people like above every.

Like, like that's your.

That's your go to your birthday.

I will never get tired of PETA Jungle.

So like, you know how sometimes you have different tastes on a.

On a certain day?

You're like, oh, I'm feeling Italian.

Or this.

If somebody's like let's just go to PETA Jungle.

I could be feeling like eating Chinese food.

I will go eat at Peter Jungle.

I love it that much.

Wow.

Because even I get sick of B Dubs.

But if you go back to the time before you got sick of B Dubs, I mean that's kind of that whole scenario, right?

I mean.

Well, just.

You wouldn't.

It's a day or two, then I'm back.

I'm just saying.

You wouldn't pick B dubs for your birthday though, right?

I mean.

No.

Yeah.

No, right?

No.

As much as you like it or kind of don't like it, but whatever.

I would pick Matt's.

Well, I mean I've gone to like Ruth Chris like for an anniversary or birthday.

But like, you know.

Yeah, but those are like once a year stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Which is your birthday?

Which.

Your birthday.

Yeah.

Like, I like Houston's.

Right.

That's my kind of in between.

Ruth.

Chris.

I've never heard of that place.

Is it here?

Sorry.

Yes.

How about Hillstone?

I'm sorry.

Wow.

Clearly I'm not as sophisticated as you thought.

Maybe not.

That's okay, though.

We can get you there.

Okay.

It's good stuff.

I take.

You can take me for my birthday.

I could.

Okay.

There you go.

I'd be okay with that.

Locked and loaded.

Carlos.

Coming.

Yes.

Okay.

Water with lemon for this guy.

Extra lemon, please.

I'm feeling generous.

No, that'd be great.

So we talked about food, right?

You kind of weird.

You don't like other things in PETA Jungle, but that's okay.

Very strange to me.

There's a lot of.

Lot of restaurants we can go to.

But just on a serious note, you know, we had texted a little bit about, you know, Charlie Kirk, and I think we'd be remiss.

And I think Ben and I will discuss maybe doing a podcast about his life.

And I would love to make that our next episode.

Yeah.

We got the opportunity to go see him live last October with Carrie Lake.

And I feel so dumb that we didn't get a picture with him.

He was right there.

I really wish that I got a picture of him, but not with him.

Right.

I would like to have got one with him.

I did.

I got a picture.

He was a foot taller than I, so I didn't.

You know, he was a tall guy.

I know he was drinking Starbucks and.

Yeah, he was.

I was kind of thinking, charlie Kirk, you're a conservative guy.

Drinking Starbucks like I was, anyway.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good dude, man.

Yeah.

Tragic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that really is.

And we really see the heart of the people of America and even the world, I think, is showing more respect than where I really believe we are in the last days.

And what I appreciate.

And I was saying that's a freedom at last, is that these people that have been vile and said crazy, ridiculous things for a man that was murdered in front of thousands of people and probably millions that have seen it online, that God would still save the killer that killed Charlie Kirk and Charlie Kirk would be welcoming him to.

To.

To heaven.

And that's the power of the gospel.

Right?

The gospel is the gospel for everybody.

It's just not for.

Because we're all in the same spot.

Right?

Ben heard a message this Sunday about Paul being you know, on the level of the shooter persecuting Christians at the death of Stephen, who was one of God's people.

And Stephen said, God forgive them, right?

And he went up and God took him.

And that was all of us too.

We just, you know, the Bible standard of murder.

And so I just appreciate the power of the gospel and that God is willing to save everybody, even those that would say the most vile things, blasphemous, grotesque things towards God, towards Charlie Kirk, towards a man that had a family and kids.

And so I was just grateful to God that he forgave me too, for all the, you know, the dumb stuff I've said.

And.

But yeah, I just, I think we, our next podcast will probably be Charlie Kirk.

I want to work on a devotional for that, but I just praise God for the stand he had.

And then I think this is God's throwing out the net to the world to say all these people that are watching his clips where he gave the gospel another opportunity to say, like Noah, right, the door is shutting.

You better get into the boat or you're going to perish.

And this is, you know, God's final call to, to the world, really.

I, I believe that he used Charlie's death to really get it out there.

Well, I mean, it's, it's global news and there's people worldwide reacting to this, whether it's be positive or negative.

But I would agree.

I mean, this is, this is not just, you know, a celebrity dying.

It's.

It was, it was literal a persecution in the United States of America.

Our kind of our first major persecution.

And it was heard globally.

And there's people that are coming to Christ because of this.

It's almost like, I think of, you know, talking about separating the goats from the sheep.

Like, it almost seems like that's kind of what's happening because you're, you're seeing all this hatred bubble up, but you're also seeing people that were on that side coming over.

People.

I was at a Wednesday night service and they were saying that they had 20 new families come to church this past Sunday as a result.

And so I think people are now starting to think and starting to look at Charlie Kirk and say, well, who's this Jesus guy that he's been talking about?

And I think it's making them think, and I think there's just this change or shift that's happening right now.

It's kind of exciting.

Honestly, I'm not.

I mean, it's tragic.

Is, is I'll get out for For Charlie and for Erica and the kids.

But.

But I think God can bring good out of evil, and I think that's what we're seeing right now.

And the crazy thing is that he had just spoke on Romans 8, 28, 29, right?

That God works all things together for good, for the.

You know, that the.

The man of God may be thoroughly furnished into good works.

And I think a lot of Christians are being like, wow, challenged to say, man, this guy stood.

Stood for something.

And you had sent me a verse, I think, believe, last night, saying that.

That we would all be ready to give an account of our salvation of.

Of the eternal life.

And I think Charlie in the last years had become really, really good at that.

Even to the fact where Mormon, before he got shot, was questioning him.

And he gave the gospel to all those people.

And just people at church, we had new people come too, that said, my parents come here.

I'm not interested.

But, man, that, that testimony of Charlie Kirk, like, I want to be like that, man.

Right?

And he puts all his husbands to shame and like, wow, this guy.

Unbelievable.

Not, not.

Not Carlos.

No, not Carlos.

He just took you to Hawaii, so he hard to compete with that.

Oh, that's a whole nother story.

But.

But that's a whole nother episode about how I survived a tsunami evacuation.

Hashtag, I'm a survivor.

That Oprah wasn't there to send a plane.

I wasn't.

I was on the other island, actually.

We were in Oahu.

She shut down the Maui.

So you weren't in Maui?

No, I was not in Maui.

Okay.

No, but I like Oahu.

Pearl Harbor.

But I, I didn't.

I did die, though.

Five times in the car.

Yes, but that, like I said, that's a whole nother story.

Carlos brought you back five times.

He.

He had to use, like, maybe you don't know, but when you take, like, child.

I know you have children, but when you take like, childbirth classes and they're like, okay.

When the wife is like, you know, saying, oh, I can't do it, I can't do it, then you have to do, like, the take charge method, like, say, look me in the eye.

Okay, breathe.

That's what he had to do in the car.

It was more like, I need you to get it together.

And I'm like, okay, so get in shape.

Make it.

Yeah.

But I want to give a shout out to Pastor Max Fowler from Salt and Light Church in Hawaii in Oahu, because he did our vow renewal earlier that morning.

We didn't know he was a Christian.

Because you don't know who's going to, like, show up when you do a vowel renewal, when you pay through a little company.

But we got to talking before we did it, and we found out that he was a pastor, and he had told us after we were all done, know, if you need anything while you're here, give me a call.

Little did he know that that night I would be calling him in tears because I was, like, hyperventilating about this tsunami that was coming.

Right.

And we went to his house, and he made us dinner, and we got to hang out with him because he lived in a tsunami safe zone, which was literally three houses past the tsunami safe zone sign.

Right.

But I felt better.

Did anybody die in that tsunami?

The tsunami didn't happen.

Oh, boy.

Yes.

So he's, like, drowning in four feet of water.

Yeah.

Well, stand up.

Here's the thing, is that I get to tell.

I have the mic, right.

So Carlos could counteract this entire thing.

But this is my truth.

We're going to use that term.

I'm just kidding.

Yeah.

But it was.

It was definitely an experience.

But Max was great.

Him and his wife Vanessa, they took us in, we prayed, got to know about their life.

We got to share our testimony.

And now we have friends in Hawaii.

Dr. Tillotson.

And now friends in Hawaii.

I don't know if you know this.

I'm a big deal.

Your net is widely cast.

It is.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I have to hit you up on LinkedIn.

I should probably update that, but.

Yes.

Yeah, me too.

I'm trying to get in your network.

Yeah.

Maybe if you feel.

If you'll accept us.

I mean, accept our friend request.

I'm taking applications, so.

Okay.

Wow.

Okay, So I already got my dryer fixed.

You know, Ken Luair scared of a house fire because of Tony.

Great marketing.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

Shall we get into some content?

Let's get in the content here.

Sorry.

Taco talk went pretty long today.

Sorry about that.

That's okay.

Sorry.

Love you.

Bye.

Real quick, before we get into the content, just a reminder.

Visit us at Abundant Live fm.

You can see all of our old podcast episodes along with show notes and other recommendations.

I don't know that we've added canaloo to the site.

We may have to add canaloo as a link on the side, as a reference, as a.

As a referral.

But that Tony commercial, you guys do.

Affiliate, like, payouts, like, for, like, people that refer you business, like, you know, a little commission.

Oh, man.

We can talk about that.

How about hats?

I Could pay hats.

For every five people, you get a hat.

I just want to tickets.

I just want a Tony T shirt.

That's what I want.

Listen, once we get the Tony T shirt out, you guys will be the first two to have one.

Okay?

That head kick can't get any bigger, though.

If you give him his own shirt, he's gonna be like, he's already big.

You know what I mean?

Like, Carlos told me, your head's too big to fit in the room, but Red Tony's head's even bigger.

Wow.

And you can also visit us on social media.

We are on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, I believe.

And so with that, we're gonna get into our content.

Today we're gonna be talking about the topic of adoption.

I know we've had other episodes on this, but this is just a little bit different spin on it.

I think you guys will be blessed with this story.

And Sasso is going to kick us off with our key verse today.

So we are going to Galatians 4, chapter 5.

I mean, I'm sorry.

Galatians, chapter 4, verses 5 through 7.

To redeem though.

To redeem them that were under the law that we might receive the adoption of sons.

And because ye are sons, God had sent forth the spirit of his son into your hearts.

Crying, abba, Father.

So, Nicole, kick us off and just kind of tell us what brings you here to speak about the story of adoption and how it relates to God adopting us into his family.

Sure.

So, as you know, Carlos and I have five children, four of which mercy.

Why did you know Hawaii?

Wow, that seems like nothing.

Hey, if you want to get a good night's sleep after having five kids, you have to fly 3,000 miles across the ocean and survive a tsunami evacuation.

I will plug that again.

Tsunami's nothing compared to the five kids.

Exactly.

So, yes, we had four daughters.

Right.

And we're not planning to have any more children.

And people would always ask, are you gonna have more kids or are you wanting a boy?

And that was, like, not even on our radar.

We were happy with the four girls that God gave us, and we knew it was for a reason.

Well, now we have a son.

His name is Mateo.

He's gonna be 2 in November.

And it's really, like, crazy to think that we got him when he was 3 weeks old.

So the first, like, 17 months of his life were a really trying time.

Like, emotionally, maybe spiritually, mentally, physically, all the things.

But pretty much Mateo is actually biologically my nephew.

His biological father is my brother, and my Brother is at the moment and has been for a while on drugs in the streets, unfortunately.

We just didn't know when.

And one day we just got a call stating that the baby was born.

Right.

So we didn't kind of, we didn't know what was going to happen with him because at that point the biological parents were trying to, you know, keep him as.

I don't know.

Anyways, December 20, though, was the day he was born, November 28.

He was six weeks early because his biological mom was, is a user.

Right.

So when he was born six weeks early, he had fentanyl and meth in his system.

And so he had to be get, like, get special care, obviously, because he was also really small.

He was like four and a half pounds when he was born.

Um, so the time came for him to be discharged because thank God, he wasn't as bad or he didn't need the level of care that most babies that are born that way needed.

So he was fine to be released from the hospital.

He just didn't have two healthy parents that could take him.

So they called me at 8 in the morning and they were like, hey, we have this baby that's ready to be released.

Would you be willing to take him?

And I'm like, yeah, we can take him.

And they said, okay, well, we need to get some stuff signed by the courts and we'll, we'll let you know.

So in my mind, I'm like, okay, well, that's going to take like a few days.

And I said, well, how soon does that happen?

They said, oh, by this afternoon.

And a DCS caseworker is going to go to your house and investigate your house and then interview you guys.

And when they interview you, they really interview you.

Like, they made us separate.

Like, we, they interviewed me.

They sent my mom outside and my husband outside, and they ask you questions like, how do you resolve conflict?

Do you and your husband fight?

Were you spanked as a child?

Do you spank your kids?

Like, lots of things.

Well, we passed.

So what did you say?

Did you spank your kids?

Maybe that's personal.

I don't know.

You okay answering that?

I think I, you know, I don't remember what I said, but the answer I gave.

My kids were sitting on the couch and they were like, not.

They were shocked at my answer.

I guess.

It didn't be your kids.

Yeah, we spanked our kids.

I mean, it was me too.

It was just a. Yeah, well, we did.

I mean, if this is being recorded, I don't remember what I said, but yeah, I spanked my kids.

Okay, so there you go.

But that's biblical, right?

There's nothing God commands.

Yeah, we don't spread the rod if.

You love your kids.

Right.

But when you're being put under all that pressure, like you don't know what the, what the right answer is.

Yeah.

So that, that's what I'm saying.

Like, yeah.

So by one o' clock that afternoon, we had ripped open a car seat from Target and we were at the hospital, right.

And getting ready to take this little redheaded baby in who was now five and a half pounds.

Like Carlos Canelo, bro.

Maybe, maybe you're right.

Maybe you are related.

I think so.

Little Cinnamon.

Little Cinnamon, that was actually his nickname for a while.

Yeah.

It'S better than his other name.

His first name.

Yes, yes.

At the time that was his old name.

Right?

Yeah.

So we, yeah, we had a new baby all in within a matter of hours and we did not sleep.

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So quick question just to go back.

So when you found out that your brother, you know, was expecting, did you guys already have like a thought that you would become the parents or you would you take him in or how did that transpire where you became like next in line to take sure the baby?

It wasn't until he was born that.

Because we didn't know for sure if the mom was pregnant because they were living on the street.

So it was just more like rumors of what she said.

We had a few family members kind of see them out on the street and be like, well she doesn't really look pregnant because she's a very tiny woman.

So we didn't know if she really was pregnant.

But anyways, once she was born, once he was born, I had asked Carlos at the kitchen table because I knew they couldn't take care of a baby.

I said, if they ask us to.

To take this baby, because that's a big responsibility.

Right.

We were done.

I mentioned that in the beginning, we were not having any more kids, and our youngest one was already two, so it was like we were sleeping through the night.

We had our routine, all that good stuff.

So he's like, yeah.

And I said, okay.

And that's kind of just where we left it.

And then just through the whole, like, you know, a DCS case being opened because the baby was born exposed and all this other stuff.

Um, you know, my name got in the orbit because I was family.

And so I did have a talk with the case manager maybe about a week or so before we knew what was going to happen.

And he had asked, would you be willing to take the baby in if needed?

And I said, yeah.

But we didn't really know that that was going to happen because based on the stories that we were hearing from the parents, they were going to get the baby.

And as you know, people that are in that situation don't always tell the truth.

Right.

So we were really kind of left in the dark.

And also my brothers and mine relationship was not good.

So I wasn't talk.

I hadn't spoken to my brother at that point for like a year and a half, so he wasn't gonna.

I. I was the last person that was going to know any information.

So.

Yeah.

And even since then, I haven't spoken to him.

So it's been a long time, I think, Since.

In.

I've seen him one time in person.

Wow.

And that was when we had to take the baby to get a paternity test, which is a whole nother thing of why I believe.

I know God had his hand on this.

Because when the baby was born, the biological mom is legally married to another man.

Right.

So the.

The lawyers did not know this.

So when I got the baby, I'm the paternal aunt.

We had a court date in January, so a few.

A few weeks after I've had the baby.

And then it was brought up that she was married.

Well, she's not married to my brother, so at that point, the husband is considered the legal father.

Had that information been known in the beginning.

I'm nobody to the baby, Right.

So I wouldn't have gotten the baby.

So that was kind of my first.

I know this is like, pretty deep, heavy stuff, right?

Yeah.

It just shows the Lord's providence in.

It all though this.

So this is how I knew at that.

At that moment, like, okay, like, as Hard as this is, I know that God has a bigger plan.

And I'd like to say that it was always that easy to say that it was not.

But at that moment, two weeks in that.

That that's what had happened.

So just kind of going back.

So they had to do a DNA test to make sure you were the maternal aunt.

Yes.

And that was the longest wait.

Because when they say they need a DNA test, then that puts a seed of doubt, especially, you know, like, in my mom, because my mom.

My mom helped me a lot with the baby in the beginning, and so she really started to bond with him.

Well, we had him for about two or three weeks.

We had to get the paternity test, and from there, it was about another three week wait.

So there was that chance that, what if this baby is not my brother's?

Then what do we do?

Because she already started bonding with him, and she had even asked me, if he's not his, can we still keep the baby?

And I'm like, I'm not a certified foster parent.

I'm what was called kinship care, which means I only had him because I was family.

And at that point, he would have to go with, like, a certified foster family.

So that was a long wait.

It was.

It was rough.

But we looked at the baby, and as you know, the Mendes have a very distinct feature.

Right.

And so we looked at him.

We're like, no, he has to be.

He has to be his.

But he was.

After we waited three weeks.

Yeah, because what.

And so I imagine the.

The woman that.

That she.

You know, and the marriage.

That the husband wasn't beating down your door wanting the baby, right?

No, he had actually.

So the woman has other children, and so she has children with her husband, and he had taken them and moved across the country to be back where they're originally from on the East Coast.

So he was kind of like, trying to rebuild his life and.

And take care of his kids.

So.

Yeah.

And I found out shortly after the adoption that he really doesn't want to have anything to do, for obvious reasons, with Teo, but he also doesn't want his children right now to even really know him or anything.

And that's kind of sad, but I'm praying about that, because he has his four sisters from that live with him.

He has a brother, another child that my brother has who's a few years older than him, and then he has three other siblings from his biological mom.

So, like, I got money just in case he's here today.

I told him I'd give money.

So he's like one of nine, maybe.

I think he's the youngest of nine or eight, if you count all together.

Yeah, if you count adopted halves and all that.

So.

Wow.

Wow.

Yep.

Go ahead.

I'm sorry.

No, I was going to say how.

So how did that play on your spiritual life?

Like, I mean, you know, from the time that you kind of had the conversation with Carlos, like, hey, what.

What are we going to do if.

Up until you going through the.

The.

The.

The test.

The DNA test?

Like.

Yeah.

I think for me, the most difficult part of it was in the beginning was the late night feedings.

And I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but it was because again, like I said, I was sleeping through the night and having to wake up and feed him.

I would just look at him and be like, I shouldn't have to be doing this.

Like.

And I got.

I was angry at my brother because I'm like, this is your responsibility.

Like, I.

Okay, this is gonna sound bad, but if we're being perfectly honest, I was like, I did my time, you know, Like, I didn't ask for this.

They'll be listening to this later.

Sorry, buddy.

And this is like in the middle of the night, you know, this is like around the holidays.

And I. I would dread knowing that I wasn't like, I'm gonna go to bed and I'm just gonna have to get up and I'm tired.

And it's a very selfish thing.

Okay, so we can highlight that too.

I was being very selfish, but it's real how I was feeling.

Yeah, you had four kids and then you guys have a business.

Right.

And so, I mean, that's not easy either if you're running your own business.

Yes.

It's a lot of time that you're having to give.

So I can understand the frustration.

Like, that's.

That's tough.

And some resentment.

Right.

It's not hard or it is hard.

I mean, it's not easy to.

Because you're carrying a burden that our responsibility that really is someone else's, that has not fulfilled their parental obligation or fatherly or motherly, both because of poor choices.

Right.

Well, and then, too, when we spoke to the lawyer, because the baby had his own lawyer.

And so when we.

He called me, the first court date we had, I asked him, I said, how long does this process take?

Like, as far as knowing what's going to happen with him?

And he said, it could be up to 18 months.

And I had him for two weeks at this point.

So when you HEAR the word 18 months, you're like, oh, my.

Like, this is.

This is a lifetime, right?

Because every day at that point felt like 10 years long.

Like, it was just.

It was a lot.

And so I.

So that was part of it, too, right?

So I'm like, wow, this is.

This is going to be a long time.

And I didn't know if he was going to stay or if he was going to go.

And just that, too was like, do I bond?

What do I do?

Right?

And my mom, who lives with us, was an amazing help, but she also works full time, so she would say, when I have my days off, I'll help you.

And when I have my days off, I'll keep them in my room at night so I can do the feeding.

So in the beginning, it was like, great.

I'm going to get a good night's sleep.

But then one day, she was holding him when it was going to be her day off, and she was fast asleep.

And I looked at her, and I'm like, I felt terrible.

I'm like, how about this?

I'll take nights, and you just help me on your days off.

And she's like, okay.

And Everest.

And then from that day on, like, I kept him every single night.

And it was a lot.

But, yeah, I mean, like, how Ben's asking about my spiritual life.

If there was anything that teaches you to wait on the Lord, it was that, you know, just because every court date was like, okay, we'll reconvene in three months.

Okay?

You wait for three months.

You go to your court date.

All right, well, they didn't have this paper they needed, so we'll set another court date three months from now.

And that happened a lot.

And so it just got to the point where I was like, I'm not even gonna think, oh, what are they going to decide now?

Because they're just going to keep kicking the can down the road, you know?

And there was a court date that was pretty important, and his parents didn't show up.

And this was probably about four or five months into the thing, and I just thought to myself, wow, nobody's here for him.

And that's like a second time that it hit me, like, they don't care.

And how can you.

You know what I mean, when you don't know this little person?

And they were notified, I imagine.

Oh, yeah.

In their own way, they do everything.

They.

They do everything.

They provide bus passes, everything for you to be able to, like, get a drug test, everything.

They put things out in the newspaper letters.

They even go to your house in person to try to find you.

You know, they tried, but they.

They didn't show up.

So.

And in that state.

Right.

I think, you know, drugs become more important than anything else in your life, even your own family and your own son, which is really sad.

And I think of, you know, just baby Moses right in the water, and God had provided for him to be rescued and not killed.

And in this case, I mean, I don't know, Mattel can be Moses, too.

I don't know.

But how God has a plan for his life even when.

For all of us.

Right.

Even the moment we're born.

And thankfully, you know, we.

I had parents and, you know, you did, too.

But how you now have become that mom and dad for somebody, as you said.

Right.

That if he didn't have them, if not me, then who.

Right, right.

And I think that's what we're learning, what we talked about.

Charlie, Kirk, like, we can all feel bad about it, but what are you going to do about it?

Like, what actionable things are you going to take?

What steps you going to take to provide for him?

Right.

To be a family more than anything.

And so go back.

I mean, just.

I remember the day we were there for his.

For his official adoption.

Yeah, I know that was probably a really.

Because that was just the final.

Like, he's ours.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

And when one of that.

Was that April.

No.

So it seems like a really long time.

I think it was like 17 months or something like that.

It was a long time.

And I don't want to not mention that throughout a lot of this, I was meeting with your wife, Rebecca, and not like to use her counseling services.

I know that I just have the.

The extreme luxury or privilege of having her as family.

So we would meet up for lunch and she would remind me of that.

I would pour my heart out to her about what I was going through at that time with the baby.

And she would just keep reminding me that, like, you know, God has a purpose for his life.

And before we knew exactly what was going to happen, she would remind me, like, you're his mom right now.

Like, and even if they were to make a decision where he would go to somebody else, which you don't really it doesn't sit in your mind that it's permanent until it's permanent.

Know.

I mean, you don't ever want to assume.

And that was really hard for me.

She would be like, you're his mom right now.

And so I'm like, okay, Yep, yep.

And then I would tell her, you know, with having the business and all of that, the way I would get through these long gaps between the court dates is I'm like, all right, it's summer, so we're just going to blow through the summer season.

I'm not even going to worry about anything, and we're just going to focus on work.

And she's like, okay, yeah, you can do that.

You can just focus on what you have to do, or you can remember in all her wisdom, Right.

That God is faithful.

And I'm just like, yes, that's right.

So she does it to me, too.

She'll say, did you pray?

I'm like, no, I just want you to listen to my problems.

I don't want to be counseled.

I just want you to say, agree with me on my complaining and murmuring.

I don't want answers.

I just want you to listen.

Yeah.

So she did help me out a lot throughout all that.

We adopted him officially, and his name was changed to Mateo, which is what.

Hallelujah.

From what it was before.

And that's what we've been, we've been calling him since he was about two months old.

But, yeah, and you were there.

Rebecca was there.

Pastor, the carpenter, the.

You know what I mean, General contract Renaissance pastor.

Renaissance man.

And a lot of our church family.

And a lot of our family.

And the judge, I'm, I, I, I don't know if you had heard him, but he was pretty shocked to see how many people fit in that courtroom.

So I'm like, oh, you don't normally bring this many people to an adoption.

And we had a lot of people.

This is a small room.

Yeah, it was a small room.

Yeah.

But, and, but it was, it was nice.

And there was a giant Trump protest right that day.

So a lot of our family that were trying to get there on time got there really late, and they missed the ceremony.

And, but we all went to Peter Piper afterwards and had a great time hanging out.

So it was a nice day.

I'm Rebecca Mendez with Lamplight Ministries, where I serve the Lord by loving others through biblical counseling and workshops.

Every day, we're reminded of our fallen world through disappointment, grief, fear, Despair.

We need a savior.

And in Jesus Christ, we have that Savior, Savior.

He came to rescue us, offering his spirit to guide us and his Word to comfort, correct and lead us.

If you're a follower of Christ, eager to grow in him, I'd be honored to walk this journey with you through one on one biblical counseling.

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What I remember, I mean, you guys were emotional, obviously, but it's almost like, you know, when we get saved, that's when we become officially and you know, the.

The previous months of Mateo, like, that's God's working in your life, throwing things, leading you to himself and then that day of salvation, like, you are officially his child.

And what a powerful example of you taking in Mateo under unique circumstances, for sure.

And out of, really out of necessity and need.

Most people, like, we learned, you know, show me the father.

I think with the movie is where people go to China to adopt kids.

This was pretty much put in your lap.

And I think if.

What if you did not adopt baby Mateo, what would it.

What would.

Where would he be?

What would he become?

Yeah.

And how God impressed on your heart and even working in you.

You know, Carlos gave his.

He was on the podcast and you run the podcast, sharing your testimony, how you came to know Christ and even at that point, working before Matteo was even born.

And the powerful thing is, you know, Matteo, he's going to grow up in a Christian home.

And could he potentially be the one that leads his own father to Christ?

Right.

His biological father.

And God can use him.

Who knows?

Right?

Yeah.

Matteo, Kirk, whatever.

You know what I'm saying?

You never know what God.

What God has in store or.

Yeah.

And I want to also, too, like, thank my husband because, like, Teo is my nephew by blood.

Right.

But like, my husband was the one that, honestly, while I was going through all of these emotions and being angry at my brother and all these things, Carlos would like, just love on him.

You know what I mean?

And he didn't have to.

He could have said no.

Like, he could have said, like, no, like, that's.

That.

That.

That's too much.

Like, we already have four kids.

Like, this is too much.

But, like, he didn't even hesitate to say yes.

So I just want to say thank you to him because he's been like, so patient and loving and giving throughout this whole thing that even when I was like, falling short on A lot of areas, I know we all fall short, but especially myself because of the feelings that I had toward my brother.

My husband was just very steadfast and.

And just loved on him.

And you can see it to this day because when he walks in the room, Tao's like, daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

And, like, rams them with his head and, you know, all the big head.

Yeah.

All the things.

All the things that boys do.

And we get looks, you know, when we go out, they're like, where does he get his red hair from?

And so third generation down the line.

Line.

It's like, not the milkman for Irish now.

It's the Amazon man.

That's the.

That's the thing.

This is not the milkman.

It's the Amazon man.

It's a new day.

It's a new era.

That's right.

Amazon man, the FedEx guy.

But, you know, when I did see my brother, like I mentioned earlier in the episode, the day we did the paternity test, and that was the first time I had seen him since we had, you know, had a big disagreement, and the last time we had spoken up to that point.

And I had thought I had forgiven my brother for a lot of things.

And when I saw him in person, you look at somebody who's lived a hard life out in the street, and it broke my heart because it made me think, like, did I really forgive my brother through all of that?

And so it was just a lot going on, you know, seeing him the way he is, realizing that he couldn't possibly take care of this baby at all, and.

And then also feeling those feelings of.

Of anger, resentment, you know, having to take on such a huge responsibility.

And I don't want that to come off as like, I don't love my baby.

I love him.

That was just very early on.

And I think those are just natural things to feel in that kind of situation.

But you have to, you know, bring yourself back.

Like, what does God want me to learn from this?

And, like, our sanctification is not like, oh, everything's going to be rosy and easy and all this other stuff, like, life is hard, you know, so what is God teaching me about love, you know, in taking in.

In Teo and him being my son, you know, And I try to explain that to the kids because they joke with each other, right?

They'll be like, oh, you were adopted.

And I'm just like, okay, calm down.

I'm like, let's not say that, because then that's going to give him a complex.

When he gets older.

I'm like, because, listen, just as much as you're my child, like, Teo is my child, too.

And I was forced to keep you guys because, like, you know, I birthed you.

I said, tail.

Like, we chose to keep him.

I said, so.

Really?

He's the favorite.

I'm sure that went over real well.

It did.

Sometimes it's hard.

Lessons.

Yeah.

You know, but every day.

Well, that's a powerful story.

And I just remember you when you.

When we first kind of connected.

I think that was, like, November probably when he was born.

And then we had you at the house in January, and he was just a baby.

That's right.

And then I had saw you the month before at the cousin's party, and I was like, I just saw them a month ago, and I don't remember Nicole being pregnant, but, man, she lost her baby two days.

Wow, that's impressive, man.

This is amazing.

And then, I mean, I didn't want to be rude, and I say, hey, where'd the baby come from?

Yeah.

But in my mind, I was like, that.

That was an awkward.

I'm sure you got a lot of questions.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

So how was it seeing your brother?

Did you guys talk at all?

Was it.

Was he upset about the process?

No, he didn't say anything to me.

He didn't say, like, thank you?

No, no.

And he.

He looked at the ground, and I kept telling myself, if he makes eye contact with me, I'm going to ask to give him a hug.

And he.

He didn't.

He just looked at the ground.

The.

The biological mother, though.

I said, do you want to see the baby?

And she's like, yeah.

And she kind of held his hand a little bit.

She cried a little bit.

And then I told him.

I told them.

I said, I'm going to take care of him until you get better.

Because at that point, we only had, like.

We only had him, like, two or three weeks.

I said, get better.

When you get better, I'll.

I'll give him back to you.

And, yeah, here we are today.

So, I mean, would you feel like it was.

He was ashamed or of what he's become or.

He just was.

I think there was probably a lot of that, because I would say in the time from when I saw him last to this time, he had to have lost at least 30 to 40 pounds, and he did not look like himself.

So I think there was a degree of that.

I don't know so much, and I don't know that he was Angry with me.

I think he probably felt ashamed.

Yeah.

And I mean, really, God's put him in the best possible home he could be in.

Right.

And that ultimately is God's sovereign will for Mateo's life because he allowed it to happen and he had a plan for him.

And just like Christy was here last time and she was saying, you know, I was adopted when I think she was 2 years old.

I don't remember quite how old she was, but the change that Mateo can maybe sit in this chair one day.

I probably won't be alive, but.

And tell his story of how God, you know, what a testimony, how God worked in his life and what a story he has that in Adam and an uncle were willing to become mother and father.

And I just think, wow, what an awesome parallel between, you know, God redeeming us as lost people out in the world destined for hell.

Right?

The wrath of God abides on us.

And he said, it doesn't have to.

You can become my child.

Right.

He became, he became poor that we might be rich.

And same thing with Mateo, right?

He was going to be poor.

He really was.

He had no family to take him, but somebody stepped up and said, you know what?

I'll do it.

And that's what I feel.

God, right?

He said, no man, you know, no greater love hath no man than him willing to lay down his life for his friends.

And that's what he did for us.

And at this point, probably Carlos and you would probably lay down your life for little baby Mateo, right?

Because now he's yours.

And I seen him with his little Diamondbacks, you know, shirt on, you know, Mercado.

We're hoping he plays for the Diamondback someday.

That's, that's why I'm investing all this time into him.

Start hitting them little grounders, see what he does, you know.

And then, you know, too, like I, I mentioned about Carlos, but also his mom and dad and his brothers and sisters, they accepted him from day one, like before the adoption was even final, they were considering him his nephew and their grandson.

And so I just, you know, I.

And my in laws, they don't speak English, right?

So they just.

And I say that because this little tiny, little white, red haired baby, right, loves his nanan tata that just love on him all the time and look nothing like him, you know, just like Carlos.

And it's just really pretty dark.

Yeah, but, but I'm saying that too, because as in laws, you know, they have no flesh and blood connection to him.

And, and, and they loved him so much they love him still.

So much.

So, you know, it's.

It's definitely a blessing in our life.

And, yeah, God's plan, for sure.

And I think that's what it's hard for when we're in the midst of the struggle.

Um, we don't see the end result, and we still don't see the end result of what he'll become.

Um, and it could be one person that, you know, leads people to Christ, that that person has the impact of the world or.

Or maybe they lead.

You know, Bible says one soul, right, Heaven rejoices.

And the chance he has to become a child of God is much greater in this environment than it would have been if he would have went.

And I just.

It's just amazing to me how God connects the dots.

And sometimes we don't see this and we'll never see it till we get to eternity.

And sometimes God allows us to see that process of his sovereign will and how he uses us.

If you're willing to be used, right, if you'll say, God, send me, you know, as Mike would say, God can use you in a powerful way to influence a young baby, right.

That you.

Who knows what Matteo will be in.

His life, you know, and it's.

Sometimes it's difficult for me when people say, like, oh, you know, you did this great thing, or you did.

You're so selfless.

And really, it's like, well, okay, yeah, I did that.

But I really, really want to just say, like, it was just all God, because if it was up to me, I'd still be probably wallowing in tears, right?

And being like, why?

Why?

And no, it was all God's doing.

I only wanted to be obedient, even though it was difficult.

But, I mean, isn't it, you know, sometimes when you're trying to be obedient?

Yeah, that's all I want, is just to be obedient and do his will.

Because I know that you can't go wrong when you do that.

It's easy to be disobedient.

I mean, I know that firsthand.

But to obey it takes an element, right?

He said, without faith, it is impossible to please me.

And this took an element of faith to say, God, is this something you really, really want me to do?

Or just a little bit like, she show me.

And he doesn't always show us like that.

We just have to take the step of faith.

And I praise God that you were willing to take that step of faith and take him in.

And ultimately, I praise God for taking Us in as lost souls.

And he had compassion.

And I'm sure you guys throughout this time have compassion for baby Mateo.

And it's just been neat to see him from a little baby to see his adoption, see him in a little suit or not his little, I think, suspenders.

He had on a little dress shirt.

He had an edge up, which we found out is not the right haircut for him.

So we will never do that again.

But did Carlos do that or.

No, it was my fault.

I was like, oh, give him a little edge up.

That'd be cute.

And we were like, ooh, dude, that's not so.

Yeah, it's not fitting for him.

It's not fitting for him.

He still gets his haircut at the barber, you know, it's just not that haircut.

And now he was being exposed to the word of God, right?

You guys are going to church.

You're training him in the way he should go.

And I praise God for that.

And wow, that's.

That's.

Anything you would say that, would you?

That you would do differently or how has God worked through this?

And how is he still working in your life through this adoption?

Well, I wouldn't do anything differently because I believe that everything I went through, I needed to go through to be where I'm at right now.

And anything going forward that he's teaching me is just continuing to, like, love, love my children, depend on God.

I'm, you know, raising my children how God would want me to is my number one priority.

And yeah, just hoping that when Teo grows up, like, he knows that he's loved.

That's it, that he knows that.

I think there's a.

A big advantage in him being adopted by people that are his family.

Cuz he'll never have to grow up wondering, like, where did I come from?

He'll always know where he came from.

I will always be honest with him about, like, this is your birth mom, this is your birth dad at the right time.

Of course.

I don't want him to feel like anybody's holding any secrets from him, but I want him to know that.

That he's loved.

And just because he was born how he was, like, doesn't mean that God doesn't have a plan for him.

And so, yeah, that's it.

Just living every day according to God's will, glorifying him in everything that we do and just trusting him throughout the whole process.

Can you have any final questions or.

I think you covered it pretty good.

Anything.

So it's neat to see the Story.

I'm excited to see what Mateo will become.

Hopefully I'll be alive so he can come on the podcast one day and share his testimony.

Hopefully a diamondback.

Did I mention that?

Yeah, Diamondback.

Yeah.

He may not come on the show, though.

If he's the diamondback, you know, he might be too big.

Too big.

No, he will.

I'll make sure.

I think Canalo Eric commercial.

He might be a big deal.

You know what I mean?

I don't know if we know we can get Tony back due to his status of the canal air.

Well, I am thankful that you came on to share your story about Mateo and just how God worked through all of that.

And it's continuing to work every day.

Right.

And you can look back and see the progress that.

That God does with all of us and that sanctification process and also just obeying him and his will.

And I remember Rebecca would make me nervous because she would say, what do you think about adopting somebody?

I'm like, I think nothing of it.

Like, I don't think of it at all because I know it's tough, right?

It's because you get comfortable.

You have your four kids, you have your flow, you have your rhythm.

And when you bring someone else in the household, whoever it is, it messes up.

It's not comfortable no more.

Yeah.

And just like you said, right?

You had many nights that, like, hey, I did four kids already.

Like, I want to just wake up at 9:30 on a Saturday morning.

Don't wake me up.

You know, don't.

I don't care if you're hungry, go feed yourself.

Yeah.

You know how to get on the counter and get your cereal.

But then when you go from having four daughters who, when they're little, are really like just perfect, little beautiful, studious children to having this little boy now that, like, usually has some sort of a hammer or a screwdriver or is like splashing in the toilet.

Like, it's just.

It's a lot, right?

So I'm just like, oh, how do people with lots of boys survive?

I don't know.

But then I'm going through pre teens now with girls, so I'm just like, oh, it's flipped.

It's flipped.

Okay, I get.

Now it gets hard.

Yeah.

Now it's a whole nother world.

Yeah.

I remember 12, 13.

I'm at the 12 right now.

Rough.

Yep.

Well, they think they're 21 and have rights.

And I don't know what it is with girls and moms, but they just seem to battle Like, I don't know, like they, I think they're jealous or they think I'm better than mom or I won't ever be you because I'm better.

And it's.

I don't, I don't get it.

Yeah.

And that's why mom, Moms love boys, because boys don't give them that drama.

Sorry, Kate, you probably won't listen to this podcast anyway, so I'll just tell it like it is.

I mean, if you don't like it, too bad.

So anyway, well, any parting words or anybody that you want to say, like, hey, if you're thinking about adoption or any words of wisdom you can impart or what God's taught you besides what.

You'Ve already shared, I would say that if you're thinking about adoption, to do it because there are lots of children out there that every child deserves to have their biological mom and dad, to be healthy and to love them and to raise them.

And when they don't have that, there's a piece of their heart just like God.

You know, there's always that God sized hole in our heart.

But there's also that wondering too.

Like, where did I come from?

The next best thing though, to redeem that broken situation is to have loving parents to adopt that child.

And so I would just encourage people that if you're thinking about adopting, if you can't have children or you just want to expand your family or even being a foster parent, that that love can make a difference.

And I take my hat off to every person who is a foster parent because after going what we went through, I don't know that I could do that again for a child that I have no relation to because it's hard knowing that they could be taken away.

So this was just my situation.

But for all of those that are foster parents and have like 25 kids that they're able to love and mentor, my hat off to them because that is a huge calling and it takes special people to be able to do.

That and just the power that God can use you as.

And Mato can look back and be thankful that God really spared his life and brought him into a good loving family.

Well, Nicole, thank you for coming on.

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Perfect.

Well, everybody, thank you for listening to this episode.

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All right, 72.

Thank you.

Thank you, Nicole, thank you for listening to the Abundant Life podcast.

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Until next time, May God bless you, Shape.