A Child of God: Tony’s Testimony of Transformation

Welcome to the Abundant Life Podcast, bringing you encouragement and challenging believers to spiritual change and growth by applying biblical principles to everyday life.

And now your hosts, Sasso Mendez and Ben Arellano.

Welcome, everybody, to the Abundant Live Podcast.

This is episode number 66, and I'm here with my good friend and faithful servant of the Thesaso, Mendez and.

Hey, what up, Ben?

What up, what up?

Today we've got a special guest.

Also, would you introduce our guest?

Yeah.

We have somebody that we all know, the Tony.

Tony, want to introduce yourself?

Hello, my name is Tony Mendez.

All right, Tony Mendez.

He's getting used to talking into the mic.

He's about six feet away from it at this point, but we'll get better as we go along.

Sorry.

Yep.

So welcome, Tony.

Glad to have you on the podcast.

We've had your sister and your.

Your brother in law on the podcast and so welcome.

I'm happy to be here.

Thank you.

Yeah, Tony was part of a commercial with those two for these.

One of the sponsors here.

I'm wearing the hat there.

No shameless plug.

Right.

Kennaloo Air keep.

You keep cool with Kennaloo.

Tony was on that commercial and we'll probably post it to the website at some point.

That was pretty fun.

Yeah.

You did a good job.

I was impressed.

Yeah, it was.

It was good.

It was good acting.

It was.

It was rather funny, but it was.

It was.

It was kind of crafty.

It was cool.

It was good.

It was a good marketing.

Yeah.

Who wrote the script?

My sister's friend.

I don't know.

It's not too hard to pretend.

Like, I'm scared of her.

Okay.

Yeah, I could see that.

Yeah.

Which is funny because Nicole's like half your height, like, comparatively.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like, when you're in the third grade.

Maybe she can carry herself very.

And be very assertive.

You're like Saul among the Jews, bro.

Like, you're just like.

There's a picture of you at church, like, we took from the back.

And you're like a head taller than everybody.

You could see you from a far distance.

Like, you're.

You're taller than our whole row, bro.

And Osaso showed me that picture.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's funny.

Pretty sad.

You know what I mean?

I feel.

You make me feel short.

But anyway, so.

So, Tony, you like to eat?

Yes.

Was.

What do you like to smash on?

What do you.

What do you.

What's your.

I love Italian food.

Okay.

Yeah, spaghetti and meatballs is really good.

Okay.

So I remember spaghetti and meatballs.

Because we used to go to Borrows on Wednesday nights, and this is when we first started meeting with Tony.

And.

And that's typically what was consumed?

Yeah.

Every Wednesday night it was spaghetti, meatballs, large drink.

And then I don't think you're drinking Coke Zero at that point.

You were just drinking straight up coke.

You had little regard for your health.

Yeah, well, it probably still does.

I don't know.

Yeah, a little bit.

A little bit.

We went to Borrows this Friday, and I think Tony consumed a family portion size of food.

Was it like a large borrowed pizza?

It was a medium pizza and 12 wings.

He did.

He.

But to his credit, he did leave the crust of one piece of pizza.

No, he said he went back and ate it because he didn't want to leave it.

What, you ate that you ate the crust?

I think there was a little piece left.

Oh, a little piece that was a piece left?

Yeah.

All right.

All right.

Pretty sure.

So, Tony, where did you get this love for Italian food?

I have no idea.

Did your mom make a special dish that you like or.

It was always the easiest thing for me to make.

Oh, spaghetti.

Yeah.

Well, my.

My sister makes really good spaghetti.

Like between her, my mom, my nana, like, I've always, like, they.

I've always liked to go rate her fridge because they always have, like, really good food cooked.

So my sister's fridge has always been where I like to go to eat.

And she would always, like, experiment with spaghetti.

Well, she invited me over one time and then for dinner, and then she took it back.

She's like, you're going to church anyway, so let's not.

Let's not do dinner.

Thanks, Nicole.

So I'm yet to taste this cooking from Nicole, but when she came over our house, we had fries, chicken.

So it's not like we made a meal for her either.

But at least hide you over Nicole and your family.

So you like to cook?

When I can, yeah.

I remember you said when we went to Borrows the other night when he had the small meat and pizza, 12 wings, you had just cooked noodles and chicken right before.

Is that correct?

Yeah.

And I ate almost all of it too.

Like 90 of it.

Got my pregame on.

Pregame before the.

Yeah, for the Friday night service.

For the resurrect.

Good Friday.

Good Friday service.

Good Friday.

What do we call it?

Remember the cross?

Remember the cross service?

Yeah.

Remember told me, remember the food before the cross.

You don't want to be hung after.

You don't want to be hung for the Lord's supper, which I respect.

Right.

Mad props.

Yeah.

You shouldn't.

You shouldn't be feasting for the Lord.

Feasting.

Yeah.

So we had a freedom at last.

We had the Italian dinner.

Right.

With the potluck, which five people participate and 25 people eat.

But that's okay.

Tom.

Sorry.

Wow.

I don't think he listens.

But anyway, he's still in hospice.

But anyway.

So you enjoyed that night?

I think I thought it was pretty awesome.

Yeah.

I think Heather came with some manicotti.

Like, two big trays full.

That was pretty good.

I didn't have any, but Tony said it was pretty good.

Yeah.

I would agree.

Was good.

Yeah.

I always get a look from salsa.

Whenever I come back with a second plate or a third plate, he's like.

Like.

Wow, I didn't even realize this myself.

Yeah.

I typically try to find out who cooked what, and then that, you know, makes it dependent for me what I consume.

Yeah.

Whether or not I'm going to eat it.

Right.

I always say I always know what Rebecca cooked, and so I know I'm safe.

Yeah.

And as a little kid, I used to go to church.

Right.

And I always.

What did my mom bring?

I think sometimes she just make me a side plate, you know, so I didn't have to deal with everybody else's.

Yeah.

So you know.

You know what you're getting.

Oh, this is the out chili.

I'm like.

Say what?

I don't want to be gripping the porcelain after that.

So there's a lot of people just straight up can't cook, right?

Yeah.

I think a lot of people are crazy, and I think a lot of people can't cook.

And I think both of those statements are fairly accurate, probably.

Yeah.

I mean, I can make chorizo and eggs.

Rebecca is pretty good, Right.

That's about.

That's what my repertoires.

Breakfast.

I can do breakfast, but everything else is just open the wallet and pay for something.

You know what I mean?

I've never had Tony's cooking either.

I.

I'm good keeping it that way as well, because it sounds like it's a hodgepodge of single man's food.

You know what I mean?

Instant Mac and cheese and.

Yeah.

I kind of like how my dad cooks.

You just mix everything into one pot, and however it comes out, it comes out.

Did you like his cooking?

Yes.

You did?

So your dad can cook as well?

He was a good.

He worked on the barbecue pretty well.

Like, he was.

That was his domain.

Anything else?

Like the grill?

Yeah.

Like burgers, hot dogs, steaks, and Anything.

Else, it was just like he just had to be happy with it.

It's kind of.

My dad, he's.

He's good at the grill, but I don't remember him cooking a cooked meal.

Was like, oh, he used to make his waffles on Sunday morning before church.

Oh, nice.

And if you woke up a little late, then we went to Jack in the Box, got a breakfast Jack, which we carried on that tradition ourselves as well.

I used to do pancakes before breakfast until about.

I don't know.

Oh, before church?

Yeah, every Sunday for.

Till about a year ago.

Right.

I mean, we did this for a lot of years.

Pancakes, waffles.

But yeah, we don't.

So you're in the electric chair.

Right.

And your last meal is a spaghetti.

Meatballs.

Yeah.

Or a bowl of albondigas.

Oh, that was my least favorite dish as a kid.

But that's meatballs, right?

It's.

It's a Mexican rendition of meatballs and rice, essentially.

Yeah.

No, no pasta.

It's.

Right.

No pasta.

So you like that as well?

You like a soup?

Yes.

And to me, a soup is not a meal unless it's menudo.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, but it's meat.

You know what I'm saying?

So it is meat.

Well, Rebecca's family, like, they had this soup Christmas because, you know, the first Christmas I went to the Breakus family, they had like a relish tray.

There was nothing to relish there, my friend.

Nothing to relish, nothing to duplicate.

I like, where's the food?

And they're like, oh, it's here.

Relish tray.

Would you like olive?

I'm like, like, where's the meat?

Like, where's the protein?

And there's nothing.

So I don't expect a lot now going forward.

My mother in law doesn't listen to this part anyway, so.

And then one time, you know, I think Rebecca.

Rebecca made the soup.

Right.

And soup is like Olive Garden.

Right?

That's what they bring you before the meal.

Yeah, it's not the meal.

Correct.

And so I was waiting, and I guess Rachel was supposed to pick up sandwiches.

Never did.

And I mean, it was just a big, big disappointment.

So we can't let her.

If Rebecca, I think one year you cooked for your family, like, as a present to them.

And that was really good because there was food here, though.

It's like, oh, we have a relish tray.

And it's.

It's.

Yeah, I mean.

I mean, if it's between Zupas and B Dubs, I'm going B Dubs.

Like, it's just not even a.

Yeah.

Literally this week, we went out to lunch with somebody, and he's like, you know, where do you guys want to go?

And like, well, B Dubs, of course.

And he's like, well, I like Zupa.

And what was that?

Like a ticky tack restaurant?

Like, Indian food?

I have no idea.

No idea.

And I'm like, is it even a question?

Like, we're men.

Like, are your.

Is your wife coming?

Like, if your wife's coming, we can maybe accommodate.

But it's me, you, and Ben.

Like, wait, why you?

Like, I was shocked.

Like, wow.

I stand up.

But anyway, I mean, it was.

It was very interesting that we were even asked that question, but it was, you know.

Yeah.

And he was trying to hint, right?

To say, well, I like these two other restaurants.

And we didn't even respond.

No.

Then he's like, okay, I guess it's bdubs.

And then we're both like, great, that sounds great.

Perfect.

Love, you know, put the love heart in the text and then the Zupa and whatever.

And even Rebecca said, like, zupa.

It's like, you guys don't want to go there.

I'm like, you absolutely right.

Soup and sandwiches.

I don't know.

They have a protein.

I mean, it looks, like, healthy, I.

Think, but, you know, B Dubs is somewhat healthy.

They got the towel, the beef tallow.

Beef tallow and wings, protein.

And we do the salad.

You know what I mean?

So, you know, that's somewhat healthy.

And we have great service there.

And they got.

They got tea usually.

Usually, yeah.

It's weird when they don't have tea, but.

Yeah, but I was just, you know, that's like me asking Tony, you know, do you want seconds?

I mean, well, of course he does.

So if you want to go to BDEVs.

Well, I.

I don't even know why you're asking me.

Me.

It's.

It's a very silly question, I thought.

But anyway, hopefully you don't listen to the podcast too, because.

Yeah, we digress.

Yeah, we digress.

All right, bro.

All good.

All good.

Well, should we get into some content here?

And I'm excited to have Tony on.

Yeah, I think we've been working on this where I thinking about this for quite some time, and Tony got baptized approximately a little over two months ago.

What was it, February 8th?

Ninth.

Ninth.

The ninth.

All right, good.

My memory's still intact there.

And so since then, I mean, I don't.

We'll get into it more, but I've been Wanting to have him on.

He said he's been ready to go and we have the edit button just in case things get loose here, but I think we'll be fine.

And so.

Well, it's interesting we.

We had talked about this, I don't know, two, three episodes ago, like, thinking like, it's going to be cool when we can get Tony on the show.

And I don't know remember if you had already gotten saved at that point or not, but it was kind of a vision that we had.

Like, we knew that you would at some point be sitting in that seat.

And this is a while back.

I mean, even probably around the time we were doing the podcast with your.

With your cousin, with your sister Nicole.

Yeah, it might have been right around that time.

And so it was something that we've wanted.

We wanted to have you on the show and just thankful that, you know, the Lord has put you on this path.

So, yeah, really cool to have you on the show, man.

I'm very happy to be here.

So Sasso's gonna kick us off with our key verse today.

We're gonna be reading out of First John and then we're going to get into.

We're going into Tony's story.

All right, First John 3:1.

Behold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God.

And that's a first John 3:1, a part of it.

And I think, you know, being called the child of God is.

It's an amazing thing, right?

I mean, it's.

It's.

I mean, this is.

This.

This is the God who created us, who's created this universe.

I saw this video the other day and it was pretty mind blowing.

It just kind of shows.

Shows, you know, creation shows, you know, landscape.

There's some trees and things, and then they kind of zoom out a little bit and then they're showing the Earth and then they zoom out a little bit more and you kind of see the planets and they zoom out more.

You see the galaxy.

The galaxy, you know, the Milky Way, and you zoom out even more and you see.

Isn't it called the power of 10?

No, it was.

It was a.

Some pastor that made this because I'd.

Seen a video like that before.

It's called the power of 10.

And they just keep zooming out, zooming out.

It could have been.

Maybe that's what he used, I don't know.

But just pretty amazing how you get back and you see the universe and it's the same God that has created all of that, that calls us children, children of God, we're his child.

Or if you ever fly, right, if you ever get on a plane and you look down and you realize how small the area you live in until you don't even see it anymore.

Yeah, it's pretty amazing, insignificant.

And Rebecca and I are looking out of bed, per se, and it really breaks down, like, the differences between the beds, right.

And the advantages that one bed has over another.

Like, if you're comparing.

And I think when you become a child of God, you see all the benefits that you don't.

You don't even realize all the benefits you have as a child of God.

Just as my, you know, I have a dad, you have a dad.

And the benefits I have with my father, if I, you know, if I was hungry or something, I would, hey, dad, I'm hungry.

He gave me 20 bucks or something, but he would feed me and much more.

Our heavenly Father, when you are called a son of God or God's child, just the love he has for you, it's not different than when before, but then now it's applied to you, and it's like having that gym membership.

And then now you're.

You go to the gym and you take advantage of those benefits, which Tony will appreciate because he likes to, but likes to work out as well.

So I'll tell you, if you wanted to share your story, if you want to read your testimony or however you'd like to do it, just.

Sure.

How you got in that seat compared to a year ago of where you were?

Well, a year ago.

I mean, like a year ago, I never thought I would be sitting right here because my.

I guess my.

My perspective on life and just the way I saw things, the way I saw myself, and even just the way just who.

Who.

How I saw God and who I thought he was.

And then when I started to, like, read His Word and then join you guys at church and stuff, like, it just.

It.

I.

I learned that I didn't know as much as I thought I knew and.

And little.

And even, like, understanding, I guess, what God's love meant.

I mean, that's something that has made a major difference in my life.

And so I.

I have been thinking about this, like, for the whole way up here, and I was getting kind of, like, being at the gym and stuff.

Like, I was getting kind of emotional, kind of hoping, like, I would get my tears out before I came over here and wouldn't get all choked up.

But, like, it's all good, bro.

I remember when this last time I was in rehab, I remember they had asked me a question, and this is, like, mainly what I was thinking about before I got here was I had told them about how, like, I had missed my dad and stuff, but.

And I guess I hadn't seen him in a few years.

And they told me, what's one thing you wish you could do, like, right now that you feel would make a big difference in your life?

And I.

I just told him, like, you know, if there's one thing I wish I could do, it wouldn't be to have a million dollars.

It wouldn't be to go back and do things.

Do things over again.

But I just wish I could wrap my arms around my dad and tell him I love him.

Because, like, that's one thing I remember.

One of the.

Guess the greatest things about my dad is, like, whenever you said, like, I love you, or he always heard you, and it was always reciprocated.

And I remember when I said that, like, I wish I could wrap my arms around my dad and just tell him I love him again.

I.

The thought.

I had a thought in my head and this.

And I just.

I heard, why can't I do this?

Like, what has kept me from wanting to do that with God?

And.

Because that's.

I had, like, really harsh feelings towards him at one point.

And, I mean, whether it was blaming other people or blaming myself or even just the way I looked at myself, I mean, like, learning to see things the way, like, I said my testimony, to be able to see myself and others the way God saw it, saw us.

Like, it's.

That's made a.

Had a big impact on my life and just.

I mean, every.

Everything.

Not just one part, but just, like, everything but.

And, like, when I came to my testimony, all right, I didn't even know what I was gonna say because there was so much, like, I.

I felt like saying and.

But, like, really, like, when it came to writing it down as, like, what's.

What is.

Oh, like, what should I put down that would be, like, worth saying rather than just.

Because sometimes I have the.

The habit of kind of just, like, rambling on.

So I sat down with Saso and Rebecca, and she helped me, like, write down a lot of important key points and, like, her, like, asking me certain questions about, like.

Like, what it is that, like, I guess what was important to put, like, it gave me, like, a really good outline of.

Of how.

Of how my testimony.

I guess how I wanted my testimony to go because we wrote it at the house and Then she sent it to me, and then I kind of just used that as an outline and reworded some things.

And by the time I was done, like, I.

It was.

I guess I felt like I said everything I needed to say, like.

And you want me to read it?

Yeah, I think it's good.

And you can take pauses as you.

You need to.

Yeah, there's no rush.

No.

Yeah.

At all.

Oh, it's just kind of.

Kind of awkward.

No, that's good.

That's good, man.

Go ahead.

No, we're not here.

No, it's not awkward saying in front of people.

It's just like speaking into a microphone or something I've never done before.

Talking to me.

And we're in our underwear right now.

Well, I put my.

My grandmother lured.

This was the first example, like, of a faithful Christian that I was exposed to in my life because she was always watching his sermons on TV and always reminding me that.

That God is watching.

And she would read a lot of scripture to me and my brothers and my sister.

Growing up and being young and hearing that, like, for me, I kind of.

It was kind of like the boring part of hanging out with my nana, because it's like, I just want to eat, like, watch tv, but it was always playing on tv.

But.

But she planted a lot of seeds early in my life, because I remember all those things she would say and the things that she would repeat about, you know, just like, things that applied to what we were going through and how life was.

So, like, she planted a lot of seeds early in my life, and I never understood why her faith was so deep, because that was.

She's been through a lot, and she was, I guess, never.

Her faith was never shook from what was going on.

Like, she always stood strong on what she was saying and what she was trying to tell us.

And I had only been to church a few times as a kid with her, and I don't think I've ever been to church with my dad or my mom, but she.

She was the one who took us to church.

And within me, as far back as I can remember, like, there was, like, an overwhelming sadness as a kid because my mom.

My mom and my dad split up.

So, like, she wasn't around.

And there was.

It was a.

An unstable household.

And being in church around everybody singing and fellowshipping and smiling, like, watching them do that was the opposite of how I felt.

So I felt out of place when I was with.

When I was at church with my nana.

And I didn't go there unless I was drugged there by her.

And my family would remind me all the time that Jesus loves you.

Which was something I couldn't comprehend because, like, I didn't love myself as I grew, when I, when I was growing up.

And after a while, God became something I didn't want to hear about, because the more I heard his word, the more I started to see how wrong my attitude towards life and people was.

And I, I, I started to feel like suffering was something that all my life was really worth at that time.

Because, like, I was always wishing things would just be different.

And, and that stayed with me for a long time.

And I, I became a very bitter, mean person, like, towards everybody but my family.

And when I started to get into my teenage years, I started to get addicted to drugs.

And then it just got worse and worse as I got older.

And that's kind of what I had planned on doing, you know, just like.

Because I, growing up, I watched my, my dad and my mom just drown themselves.

And so it's something I picked up from them, even though they didn't tell me to do it.

Like, that's just something I, I picked up from them.

And when it came to the hard drugs, like, I was living from moment to moment with really no hope for my future, because I despised myself for being a drug addict and believed that nothing could deliver me from the evil that infected my life.

And still my family reminded me that Jesus loved me.

And at that point, that's something that really hurt for me to hear because love felt like, real foreign to me.

And my, my mom, my, my dad, my sister, my Nana, and even my twin brother.

I was thinking about my twin brother Gibby a lot today, too, because when we were 13, we split up and he moved back in with my dad, and I stayed with my mom.

And he was a really real, real faithful to God.

He was out of us too.

He was the one that really stood by it.

And he would remind me, you know, Jesus loves you, Tony.

And just, I would look at him and he would.

And we felt two different ways, I guess you could say.

Like, he was, he relied on God a lot, and I didn't rely on him at all.

And he seemed to have something I didn't have.

That's something that always stuck out to me.

And I remember, like, as I was going through, like, the, the shenanigans and my whole drug usage and just the way I was living, he said something that really stuck out to me, and it kind of hurt my feelings a little bit.

But he just, he Just told me because he loved me.

He said, you know, Tony, like, God says that like when we go to heaven that like we're going to be happy.

And if, if, if you don't, if you don't go to heaven, I won't remember you.

Because like, that's something that would make me sad.

Like I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I won't be up there missing my brother.

And he goes.

And so my biggest fear is getting to heaven and my brothers and my sister not being with me.

And, and like, and that's my twin brother Gibby.

I, I love him to death.

And that's something that has, like our relationship weighs really heavy on my heart.

It's getting better, but it's just like a disconnection that kind of gets to me.

And the same with my dad, but like, those things are just.

I took those as like God, like, just reminders that I needed God in my life.

Like my dad had always told me, you need God in your life, Tony, you need God.

But he didn't live, he didn't live it out, I guess you could say.

I mean the example he set was very imperfect.

But there was a lot of really key, important things that were said to me that I held on to.

So when I started to read God's word and try to.

And one changed my life around and paid attention to the things that were more important.

And those things like are, those are the things that I carried with me into it.

And it was, it was all, you know, Jesus loves you and just everything my nana told me, everything my dad.

But some of the things my dad would tell me, some of the things my brother Gibby would tell me.

And I guess that one thing that they had that I felt that I didn't have was the one thing about them that I admired a lot.

And especially my sister too.

Like, my sister was always there for me and I just, I love them dearly for that.

Because like what I couldn't see at one time is now like God has opened my eyes up to being able to see it.

They're like, I don't know, like the words can't I guess encompass how like grateful I am for that.

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And.

Well, like, one.

Someone I was really close to in my addiction was one.

Was one of my uncles.

And, you know, I was warned by other people, like, you know, like, he's not exactly setting a good example.

And be careful, like, if.

If you grow close to him.

I don't want to say his name, but.

Yeah, but.

But I loved him, like, dearly.

And, like, watching him battle with this cancer and just a lot of other ways that were set in him.

Like, I saw him grow very, very angry with God and probably even angrier than I was.

And seeing him do that.

But, like, seeing someone else act the same way you're acting and you get to see how it looks in somebody else, like, that's.

It showed me that, like, you know, man, I shouldn't be doing that because when I saw him start to do it, like, I saw it as wrong and just what he was relying on as, I guess, like, the Aztec idols and stuff, like, it's.

I just.

I just.

I just.

I'm gonna lie, but I didn't have the heart to tell him, like, they disagree with him because I didn't want to make it feel like I was against him in the moment.

But it's just, like, it just.

It showed me something about myself that I had to stop doing.

And.

And yet, like.

And just.

But like, the whole.

The question.

The question of, like, where should I go?

Like, what should I do?

Like, because my dad telling me, you need God, and my brother and my sister and my nana telling me, you need God.

Like, it was something that had been repeated to me, but it wasn't something that I guess you could say I knew how to do or something that I was ready to do.

I asked me because I was.

I would.

I didn't.

I really didn't know what was holding me back.

Maybe it was the drugs because, like.

And that was a big thing right there.

Like, the drugs.

Like, how disconnected from seeing.

Like, it's.

How it fogs your vision from seeing what's important or even just getting a good look at yourself and what's going on.

And, like, it's.

I had 10 months clean off of all that stuff just the other day.

And, like, I'm, I don't even count the days, really.

I just know when, when the 14th comes, it's another month I can just.

And that's the longest I've ever had off of everything, like, since I was 13.

And it feels great.

And, and this, and celebrating this birthday is the first birthday where I've actually accepted God's love and, like, actually been happy to celebrate another year of life.

Because, like, every other year before this was just like, oh, another year of this.

Oh, another year of this.

Like, I hope it ends soon.

Like, and now it's just like, I need spaghetti meatballs.

Yeah.

And now, like, there's not enough time in the day for me to be grateful and do things that are good for me.

Like, I have to tell myself to go to sleep or pass out on the couch because I'm so spent.

Like, and it feels good, like, that the things that I was deeply, like, gravely afraid of, like, responsibility and being happy.

Like, it, I am just, I'm happy, I'm grateful that I, I haven't, I guess another chance at life that's 100.

And, and like, I, I, I, like, I, I, I love it.

Like, how I can go to church.

And it's just like, everything that's being said applies to my life.

Like, okay, cool.

Like, oh, man.

Like, and so you were saying, like, your uncle and you saw yourself for what you were.

So what did you do with that as, as you saw yourself, like, in your uncles.

Oh, well, what did that lead to?

Well, I mean, I just, it showed me, like, it was, like, it revealed to me, like, a way that I was living that I shouldn't be doing, like, something I shouldn't be doing, but I couldn't stop doing it.

And I had no, I guess, like, direction or I had no direction.

And I really wasn't around anyone that set a good example, I guess, like, that I was willing to take guidance from.

Because at that point, for me, it was like, you can't tell me nothing.

Don't try to.

Like, I just.

The people I was surrounded by, like, I had to rely.

I relied entirely on my own logic.

And I felt like I knew everything.

And being in that world, like everybody was trying to kill me.

It felt like.

And just like you become so paranoid or just like, you have to protect yourself from everybody, even yourself.

So it's just like, like there was nowhere in my life where I guess I was willing to sit down, stop and listen, and head in the right direction because, like, I was too caught up in, like, living Moment to moment, trying to feed myself the drugs and not put myself in a position where I would.

I guess I'm gonna get caught up.

Because I guess, like, be slipping.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm.

I'm trying to avoid using, like, ghetto slang and, like, terms and stuff because, I mean, it's just.

To me, it sounds stupid.

Yeah, but we understand.

Yeah.

And like.

Because, like, right now I still kind of have the paranoid habit of, like.

Like, looking everywhere when I'm driving, like, oh, there's a cop over there.

There's a couple there.

But it's like, I don't got nothing on me.

And.

And it's.

It's different.

It's different this when I ended up getting shot.

And like, at that moment, like, just.

Just how it happened, like, just to spare the details of the story, like, it could have happened a lot worse because the same dude killed five other people after me.

And I was the only one that I get failed to go the way that he planned it out.

So I was just, like, something stuck out to me that day.

And from, like, from that point on, like, I just.

I started to pay attention.

Like, it started to stick out to me like God's protection.

And, like.

Because I never didn't believe in him and I never thought, like, he wasn't there.

I just.

I.

I just didn't want to.

I accept that he loved me, I guess, because, like, I felt alone for a long time and.

And it was easy for me to.

To really not pay too much attention to it if I put myself around things that were unloving and just kind of surrounded myself with all the mean stuff.

Because then it just.

It just.

It allowed me to think, like, oh, this is how life is and this is all it is.

And if there is happiness out there, it's not for me, I guess I would say happiness, but, like, peace.

And when I would go to my sister's house, it was peaceful.

I'd go to my nana's house, it was peaceful.

And it was just like something I felt like a threat to.

And so, like, that whole having to protect yourself from other people.

Like, I felt like I had to protect my family for me by staying away.

And now that's one thing that Something that has left me now because now I feel that's one thing I'd written in my testimony.

Like, I was really upset at God for, like, how could you let me feel so alone amongst my family?

Because when I was.

When I was there, it was just like, you know, like, I felt like they were Looking at me, like, with.

So.

With such worry, like, what's going on?

You all right?

But I didn't think.

I didn't.

I didn't believe that they knew how I felt on the inside, so that whatever it is I was going through, they couldn't help me with.

And it was just like, to stay away.

And then, like, my dad was somebody who I would talk to him or my uncle, and.

And like, I knew that they.

They've done worse than I have.

So, like, their.

Their advice was something I took, I guess, without question.

But it wasn't always the best advice.

It wasn't always the best advice.

And like, when my dad, like, some of it was like, I guess godly, but the rest of it was just his logic.

And, and that's.

That's one thing that I like, I mean, like, my whole, I guess, recovery and everything was kind of sifting through my dad's bad advice and just kind of putting it off to the side and just.

And because, like, he's one person, I was very much alike.

And I guess, like, from what my parents taught me and just being able to seize whatever, whatever, like the parts of that that were things I should just kind of leave.

Like.

I don't know how to put it.

Like, things that weren't right.

And then there's the things that they taught us that were.

That were good and just kind of.

I don't know how to say it, but.

Was there ever a time?

I mean, you know, you said you were, you know, often on drug with drugs since you were about 13.

Was there ever a time or was that the whole time?

Did you feel hopeless?

Like, did you just feel that there's no hope?

This is just the way it is.

This is how it's going to be the rest of my life.

And at first it lured me in as something.

I saw it as something I wanted to do and something that I could stop doing whenever I chose to because, you know, nothing's gonna ever have that power over me.

And then once it came to it being something that I didn't want to tell myself I needed, but I needed it, then it was like, oh, like, I can't lick.

I can't let this go.

And that's when it started to feel hopeless, especially with the fentanyl, like, because, like, the scariest thing is going without it and.

And like going into.

To rehab and stuff.

Like, the worst part of it all is the moment where you stop doing it and you.

That hold, like, depressive period where you have to shake It.

Because, like, it seems like help is so far away.

Like, I've done too much to turn back from this.

And even, like, when reality hits you with, this is what you've been doing the whole time.

Like, look at all the bad stuff you did, and it's just like.

And, like, you using the timer.

I was using.

And, like, I felt like it had a hold on me.

Like, I just.

I knew that this wasn't me, and knowing that I had a lot of love left to give my family, but I couldn't.

But I didn't know how to do it, and that just.

I was worse.

Like, my dad would tell me all the time, you're worth so much more, Tony.

And, like, those things started.

Those words.

Words from my family started to, like, really echo loud in my head, and it's just like, well, why don't I believe, like, what's being said to me and this.

And it's just.

I mean, it took four tries for me to be able to shake all the drugs.

But, I mean, that's so.

Just to wrap up your.

So, I mean, to go on your testimony.

So when you.

What, your fourth time in rehab is when you felt this was the last time, right?

The 10 months ago was your fourth time?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So what happened from that point?

Like, what.

So just in your testimony, how did you.

How did you get here in the chair?

Like, how did you get from a year ago, too?

Yeah, well, I.

When I went there, like, I.

I had a.

I knew, like, I had a idol to.

I knew that I had a.

I guess the.

The advice of, like, you need God in your life.

And, like, what did that look like?

I mean, I.

That's something I wanted to.

To do, and I had a.

Find somewhere to learn how to do it, I guess, because, like, with all the AA stuff and, like, in rehab, like, it's.

There's really no.

How do you say.

Unless you find someone who is, like, a.

A Christian there and, like.

And they're.

They're doing it and, like, providing you with material and, like, speaking.

Or if they don't.

If they take you to church, like, you're really just gonna have, like, a bunch of.

I guess.

How do you say, like, confused people trying to give you a solution to it.

Like, and.

But my roommate.

Yeah, I would wake up every morning and he'd be kneeling by his bed and he'd be praying and just maybe trying not to disturb me.

And I'd see.

I'd seen him doing it, and then he would.

Every day.

Oh, Tony.

Like, good morning.

And he invited me to have a Bible study with him, and.

And he was a really nice guy, and so I started doing that with him.

And that's when I clung on to it, like.

And I guess that was.

That's where I was exposed to God's word, the start of it, in rehab.

And, I mean, and from there, like, when I.

When I got out, went to the sober living where I was at, I wanted to continue it because we were going to church every weekend, and I was having a Bible study with them every day because that's all we had was 24 hours with each other.

And.

And then I was talking to my sister and, like, you know, apologizing for some things, and.

And she had told me to get in touch with you, and she said that she would give you my.

She gave me your number, and they said that she would give you my number and ask you to get in touch with me.

Because, remember, I told you.

I was like.

Like, I don't.

I don't know.

Like.

Like, this is just.

Because I didn't know him.

Like, I didn't know you.

I was in high school.

Same.

Same reaction.

I didn't know.

That's when I started coming to the freedom that lasts, which you.

And I met Ben and everybody else, and I called Rebecca Thea.

You're telling me.

I think Tony just called me Thea.

I was like, I don't know.

I just didn't want to be rude.

Like, yeah, she can't hear very well.

So when she whispers to me, like, everybody can hear it.

So I think Tony called me Thea, and it's loud.

Yeah.

He called your dad Theo, and he's like, I'm not your Theo.

I'm your uncle.

I'm your cousin.

Yeah.

And just.

And then from there, I mean, looking into, like, the.

I guess the example you guys had set and just how you did it, I guess in the quality of your life, it just became something that I admired.

And just, like, if that's what it looks like to live, like, I guess if.

How you live like that, if that's the result of, like, how, you know, living and, like, what you're doing and.

And, like.

And just listening to what you guys.

I guess what you guys would explain to me and tell me about, you know, God's love.

And, like, we were going through the exchange and stuff.

Like, I always had, like.

Like, a bunch of pauses.

Like, you'd ask me questions, and I'm, like, thinking really deeply, like.

And you explain it to me, like, And I learned a lot.

And I tried to ask, like, good questions because I don't know, I don't like to just ask a bunch of random things, but like, soaking all of this in, like, it just, it let me say I just told me like a lot of what I needed to know, I guess.

And just like everything that's been missing from my life has been.

And everything that you guys have been, like, showing me, like, hello, I'm Pastor Kevin Shaw.

Are you or someone you know, dealing with the agony of an addiction?

You can't change what you do until you let God change who you are.

Freedom at Last is a discipleship ministry of Northwest Valley Baptist Church in Glendale, Arizona that applies the life transforming principles of the gospel and Christian growth to the problems of life dominating sins and addiction.

All of this happens in an atmosphere of love and accountability.

Please join us.

For more information, please visit us online@getvictorytoday.com.

That'S get victory today.com.

So what brought you to the point where you said, I want to accept what Jesus Christ has done for me?

Like, I'm willing to accept his gift and his love for me.

It's because, well, I guess but has been the one thing I've been pushing away my whole life.

That and is something that I've been told that I guess is missing from my life by the ones I love who really care about me and learning about what that was first and then I guess what it meant to do that.

I just, it was something I knew that I needed to do.

I don't, I know you don't remember like a specific date or something like that, but you do remember a time when like, you made that decision.

Roughly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

I don't know.

We had these conversations and me and Ben were like, man, I don't know.

But I think it's evident.

I mean, in your testimony you had said, I think if you want to re.

You know, look back at your notes and just.

You said in the end, I think was powerful.

Oh, okay.

Of how God saw you and really accepting his.

Because I think it's hard for people to.

Especially if you've grown up in a rough way.

Right.

And not in church.

Not in church.

And maybe parents, all parents.

Right.

We don't set perfect examples, but somebody may be that a rough lifestyle that it's hard to.

How does God love me?

You know, we looked at should, you know, show me the.

Show me the me, the Father.

Show me the Father.

And how we look at God through our experiences with our Own father with our own earthly dad.

Yeah, our earthly dad.

And our earthly dads don't always set the best examples.

And how did you overcome that?

I think you worded it fairly well there in your, your notes there.

Oh, yeah.

At the very end, kind of.

Or whatever you'd like to share if you, I mean, if we missed out parts that you want to go back to, that's.

That's up to you.

But I think you did a good job of.

I'll read the summation, I'll read the last half.

And I put.

Yeah, at, at the time I failed, I guess.

I guess I would ask myself if God really loved me, why would he let me feel so alone amongst my family and allow me to be influenced by the ugliness of the world, which I felt turned me into something he wouldn't approve of at that time.

I failed to see the bigger picture and how eventually all these things would bring me closer to him.

Okay, that's a little too far back.

Yeah.

And you can read all of it.

I mean it's.

Yeah, it's good.

It's really good.

Um, okay, so I put that I had went to jail for six months and the reality of what I was doing to myself was really starting to set in and my situation was suffocating me in there.

And I knew for certain I didn't want any more of that.

And when I was released, I went to what I knew and I saw God's protection in a few near death experiences.

Something had to change.

But I couldn't stop being who I had been most of my life.

I was willfully blind to what my family had been trying to tell me my whole life.

I wanted to do things my way and die on my own terms.

But through the.

But through that way I got to experience what life was like without God.

I had a very unhealthy relationship with myself and I didn't know how to have a healthy relationship with anyone, much less God.

And I went to rehab a few times, but this last time I said I had the roommate, Derek, who a faithful Christian.

And just a few minutes before I woke up every day like I.

He would be there kneeling at his bed, praying.

And it's something that I had admired about him.

And he asked me if I wanted to start doing a Bible study with him, which is something I participated within, participated with him every day.

And when we started to go to church, because they would take us to church.

And then it occurred to me how myself, how self destructive my anger was at church and My life and how can I give.

And I asked myself, how could I give this to God?

How can I forgive those who had hurt me most in my life, who I felt deserved to be punished?

And most of all, how could I receive God's forgiveness for some awful things that I've done when I deserve to be punished too?

And learning to let go of the past was very hard for me.

And I would ask, I would pray, God, please allow me to see myself and others as you see us, so I can forgive what I.

What I see as unforgivable.

I allowed myself to, like, really just feel each day as it came.

And reality, instead of the numbness, helped me to become aware of my deep need for God.

I needed his help not just in crisis, but in everything.

And the more my relationship, relationship grew with him, the more a change started taking place in my life.

I heard Jesus loves you my whole life.

And for the first time, I started to feel it and believe it to be true.

And when I got out of rehab, my sister, who I love very dearly, suggested I get in touch with my cousin Sosso, because he would be a good influence to help me continue to grow in Christ.

And he invited me to f.

To freedom.

That last I came and I would attend as often as I could.

And Ben Sasso and Pastor George taught me about the exchange on Wednesdays.

And I learned more about God and saw it and lived, lived it.

And it lived out through them, being around them, I learned the truth.

And my cousins also reached out to me daily and asked if I wanted to continue.

Well, reached out to me daily and asked me if I wanted to come to the Sunday service.

And, and, and he.

He made sure I got there.

So he was always asking me if I wanted a ride, which.

Thank you.

I'm glad you got your own car now.

And we developed a great relationship.

And I admire the example he sets and I trust the advice that he gives me.

And about five months ago, I fully.

Well, now more time than that, I fully accepted God into my life and accepted his love for me.

My life isn't perfect, but God has given me everything I need.

I have my family and I have joy in my life, which I've never had before.

God is growing in me through coming to FTL and here on Sundays Now I pray every day, seeing what God has delivered me from.

And I wholeheartedly believe that he is the Almighty and that his son, Jesus Christ died for me and paid for my sins.

I'm grateful.

I can look in the mirror and clearly, see, I am who God says I am, his child.

I think that's a powerful testimony.

And as you read that, uh, like, you know, Rebecca was bawling in the baptismal, and I was trying to hold it back, too.

I was kind of some guy to my.

I don't know what happened.

Tears are coming down a little bit.

But I think when we were doing this, right when we were writing this out, I think that was a major theme of that you realized that you were his child, which is the theme of this podcast, and.

And the benefits now that you have.

And I think we talked a lot when we'd go home, and sometimes it was crazy stuff he would share with me.

The first night, I was like, oh, my goodness.

Like, I don't know what I got myself into.

And then you said you weren't used to being at peace.

Like, you didn't know what to do with.

Without chaos and turmoil.

Yeah.

And I found that to be like, wow.

Because I don't think.

I don't, you know, live in those terms, but I think now you've gotten probably used to living just at peace where you're not.

There's not a war going on within you.

Yeah, well, I think, too, like, I.

You know, when I first met you and you came to ftl, you know, I noticed, you know, I.

You looked like you were very guarded.

You know, you were very.

You're hardcore, you know, you.

You.

You didn't.

You didn't smile a lot.

You know, I was trying to make small conversation, and you just, you know, and.

And I could just see that there was just a real hardness about you.

And I think that's probably a culmination of everything that you grew up and you were up against and, you know, the situations that you were put in.

Just like you said, you can't imagine what that's like without peace.

But that's what you look like when you first came, and I saw you grow over time and, you know, as we did the exchange, and I just saw.

I just saw you soften, bro.

Not that you're soft or anything like that, but.

But I saw your heart soften.

Like, I saw that you.

You.

You started to smile a little bit more.

Like you started to.

To sing.

Yeah, you were.

You would sing, you know, and.

And we had talking.

Sasu would.

I don't have conversations after Wednesday nights, you know, did he.

I think he got saved tonight, dude.

I don't know.

Like, he was just, you know, and.

And.

And we were praying for you, bro.

I mean, this Whole time.

And we were praying and praying that you would come to know the Lord.

And it was just, it was neat to see that transformation, bro.

Like it was, it's night and day now.

Like so, so when I see you now, that's not the Tony I met about a year ago.

Like, it's not, not the same, dude.

And praise the Lord, right?

I mean, we, we, we say these verses every Friday night.

Behold, you know, you know, new.

We're new creatures, right?

And, and I think it's just a, it's just a really neat thing to see how God has changed your life.

Pastor Todd or you know, talked about this today.

You know, it's, that's really where it's at, man.

It's about seeing God change lives.

Like we, I mean, it's all of us, bro.

Like we were all in, in that mud and mire and you know, in the gutter.

And God gloriously saved us.

He pulled us out of that pit, you know what I mean?

I know today at church I was, I was smiling and as the choir was singing and then Rebecca was looking at me like, what are you laughing at?

And I'm like, no, they just thought of something that made me smile.

Like, I'm just really happy.

Well, I think if we go back to that picture of.

And I didn't, I, I don't know, I didn't that night, right?

You weren't, you were fine with me.

I didn't have issues with that.

But from that September first week of September when I picked you up, because I know I was like on a five day fast and I just had bdubs for lunch, I was happy in myself.

And to the day you came out of the water, right?

That picture that they posted of the smile, the joy on your face, that's.

I don't know, that's a, that's a pretty priceless picture of, of God transforming your life.

Where I could take you to Disneyland, right?

You wouldn't fit in the rides anyway, but.

And you wouldn't have that same smile, you know what I mean?

And that's a temporary, you know, you're having fun per se, but this is a life change where you're going to go through hard times, you're going to experience disappointments and setbacks, but nothing, nobody can take away that salvation, that joy that God gives.

And that's what I saw when you came out of the wall.

I didn't see you, but I saw the picture and I was like, wow, look at, at that.

And Nicole, you know, saved it as her phone, screen saver, whatever for a phone.

Just because it was a.

And she said, you don't know Tony.

Like, I know Tony, right.

How she knew you in the, you know, the dark days of addiction.

And she just said, it's just.

And I think she was sharing with Rebecca, like it's just a different.

Like it's such a night.

And, And Ben and I see it to what we know you.

But she sees it from.

Because she's known your whole life and just the change that God's done in your life and.

And just.

I think this testimony that we're going to share with our listeners, I think is a powerful.

Yeah.

That nobody's without hope, Right.

That God is able to save anybody and everybody.

Like there's nobody beyond his grasp that he can't get a hold of.

Yeah.

I mean, I remember one time I was taking you home and I remember you told me something and I was like, dude, that's crazy.

Like, you told me, you know, that in some of those days where you were, you know, using and just in that lifestyle.

And you just said, yeah, they just.

At that point, I didn't care if I died.

I didn't care if I went to hell.

Like, it just.

You just didn't care.

And I thought, man, that's a place where you're just usually rock bottom there, bro.

Like, you're just.

That's hopeless.

Entire hopelessness.

You didn't.

You didn't care.

And.

And to see you now, obviously, I mean, that's not.

Not the same thing.

I mean, now it's like, you know, you're a child of God.

You said you look in the mirror now and you like what you see.

Yeah, that's.

There's one thing I'd written my testimony to and my sister would always try to explain to me what an eternity in hell was.

And she's like, thanks for the shout out, Tony.

Like, what?

But I mean, like, I just.

I knew that that's was something that would be.

I would have to deal with at some point.

But, like, I just didn't want to let it bother me because I didn't want to be able to look at the bad things I was doing and feel like a terrible person.

So it was easier for me to not care.

And I mean, I ended up not caring about so many things that it just.

It just leaked into everything.

And like, that's one thing that really shows on somebody when they live their life.

Like they don't care and they don't love themselves.

You can really see it.

And that's.

I guess that's something that my sister has seen, like, in me because, like, that's the one thing that has changed about me was like, I live, like, I do care, like, care about myself.

I love my family.

Like, you just.

Oh, it's like, is it, like, evidence that God is real?

Is in a transformed life and, like.

And just what God has done for me is something that.

Like this.

I guess words can't explain it.

Well, I think it's powerful to see your family there, right.

For your baptism.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't think I've ever had that much of my family ever gather for anything for me.

For a good thing, right?

Yeah, it's a good thing and not like a quart or something, you know?

Yeah.

And, like, all of them were happy.

Like, usually I was used to seeing worried looks on their face.

And I remember I went to see my nana the other day, and then she's like, oh, did you get a design in your hair?

I'm like, no.

She's like, oh, I remember what happened that day.

I was like, nana, I remember too.

Like, I was really worried about you, mijo, but praise the Lord.

And I'm like, I love you, too.

Somebody put a design in your head, but it was not the barber.

Yeah.

So any closing thoughts?

Also, I would just like to just to go back and just.

I feel like there's wherever stages you are, whether you're the Nana.

Right.

That's, you know, laying that foundation are your sister or your brother.

I think everybody plays a part.

And that's.

The Bible tells us, like, you know, paulos water.

But God gave the increase.

Right.

So we don't always.

We're not always the one actively involved in someone accepting Christ, but we all play a role in how we live our lives and what we share.

And you weren't ready 10 years ago, five years ago, but this last time, you were ready.

Right?

God prepared your heart for this time, and we all play a part.

Right.

If we will obey God and just say, hey, I want to live my life in a way that's pleasing to God and sharing Christ with other people.

And your nana did it for you.

Right.

Kind of laid that groundwork.

Your sister Nicole, probably From the last 10 years, whatever, little by little, was just hammering away at your hard heart.

Right.

And God was just working, and he knew that wasn't the time for you.

But.

And Ben and I got to see it, like, up close.

But that's just.

That's what God allowed for this Time.

It wasn't that this, you know, but we all play a part in.

In people's lives, right?

We just don't know.

Maybe we witness to somebody and they say no, but 10 years on the road, they accept Christ.

And I would just say when Nicole texted me and, like, the same thing, right?

I.

I knew about you.

We had played flag football, and I knew who you were, obviously, and we have a picture back in the day, but there was no relationship, really, right?

There was no, like, hey, Tony, whatever.

I didn't know what you were doing with your life.

You didn't know what I was doing with my life.

Life.

And we were dropping my daughter off in school.

I was in South Carolina, and I said, yeah, I'll get with him when I get back.

You know, like, no big deal.

And I think God's really blessed us to.

To witness what he's done in your life and what he continues to do.

And I was just telling Rebecca, like, Tony doesn't have to come to church, right?

It's a decision that he makes on his own.

He doesn't have to come on Fridays, but it's a decision he makes on his own because God's working in his life.

And so you just.

Your life has been an encouragement to me, and I think to a lot of people, you missed this.

The.

Went the Friday night after you got baptized.

And I think it was really powerful to hear people's testimony just to say, wow, that.

That testimony, that baptismal was impactful to me.

Right.

It blessed my life.

And I showed Ben It's a Wonderful Life.

And he does.

He didn't like the movie very much.

I think he liked it better the second time.

But the impact.

I love that movie because the impact we have on others that we don't even realize for good or bad, right?

And I think God now is using your life for good to impact other people's life.

And I just encourage you.

Keep doing it, keep staying on the path, and one day you'll have a Tony in your life.

That you're like, wow, that's like, I got to see that.

Yeah.

Up close.

And what a blessing your.

Your testimony has been to me personally and to Rebecca.

I know the waterworks are in her eyes somewhere, and.

But just keep pressing on, right?

We're not perfect, and Ben and I are not either.

But we desire to see you grow in Christ, and that's what we say.

Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature.

Old things are passed away.

Behold, all things are become new.

I know like for like the first 18 years of my life, like I barely talked.

I was a really quiet person.

And like people like when like I started to I guess see my family as an adult and I'll be like, hey, what's up?

How's it going?

They'd be like, what's the most you've ever said to me?

Like, I don't know how to feel right now.

I can just leave moments where like I pause and I'm just like kind of quiet.

Like, like it's just like I, I guess I'm trying to find a way to word how I'm feeling or like what I'm trying to say.

And like reading God's word and everything has really giving me like explanation I guess to.

Or like has really helped me to understand all those things that.

Cause like a lot of those silences in me or just like the moments where I can't.

I don't know what to say or I don't know what's going on or I don't know what to do.

Like, like, what is this?

Like, I love it.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

Funny you mentioned there's a picture of you back in the day and the first thing I thought of was twins, but that's an Easter egg.

Anyway, you can post that picture.

That's a funny picture.

I mean, Tony have a side by side.

But I would agree with Sasso Tony.

It's been an encouragement to see you.

I love the.

I love watching God work and changing a life.

I mean, you know, and it's, it's interesting because you have a tremendous story because you, it's, you know, you had a, a drastic change in your life, right?

And not everybody has that drastic change.

Some kids, some people get saved at the age of five or whatever.

But the reality is that those people that are saved at the age of five are just as dead as a person who had a tremendous change as you.

So I mean we all need, we all need the, the, the forgiving power of the Lord.

And today is really cool because it's Resurrection Sunday.

We're celebrating Jesus resurrection.

And that's the whole pivotal point of Christianity, right?

Without that resurrection, we wouldn't even be here.

We wouldn't be sitting here having this podcast because there's no point to it, but because he defeated death and forgave us for our sins.

I mean that's.

And that's the Father's love, right?

That's how much love he had for us today.

So you.

And that's the love that you found.

That's the love that you now have.

That's the love that you've encountered when you say, I'm a child of God.

Right.

And, like, I.

I hold on to all this dearly because whenever I leave from here and go back to where I live or even go to work, like, there's not a lot of people that feel the same way or, like, see God the same way.

So they're always trying to talk you out of what you know or just coming at you the way, like, you're used to.

Like, it's seen, like, people who, I guess, don't have God in their life.

And it's just like, I hold on very.

I stand very firm on what it is I believe in.

Amen.

And just.

And like.

And there's no talking me out of it.

Like, a lot of people trip out on it because they're just like, oh, well, like.

And I guess they kind of, like, they.

They see the difference that is made.

Like, they just.

I don't know how to put it.

That's good, man.

Well, Tony, thank you for.

For sharing your story with us, and thank you for coming on the podcast with us.

Enjoyed having you again.

It's been enjoying.

Enjoyed having the front row to seeing what God's doing in your life.

And I look forward to see what God.

I know.

I know God has something more for you.

I know.

I think you've been already approached by somebody to, you know, share your story with some.

Some troubled youths in.

In.

In a.

What is it?

Like a.

Like a.

It's juvenile.

Juvenile.

Juvenile jail, pretty much.

Yeah.

And, dude, that's, That's.

It's an amazing testimony to have for that kind.

I was blown away the other day when pastor was talking about that they have, you know, obviously they have church in.

In prison, but the fact that they're sending out missionaries from prisoners from one prison to another, that blew my mind.

I was like, that's amazing.

Because people, yeah, they.

If anybody needs God, it's those people.

Right?

I mean, we all need God, and it's just amazing to see how God even works inside the prisons.

But your testimony is powerful, and you can use that.

And I.

So I see God using you locked up.

There's one person you can have a great influence on is your cellmate because you're locked up for so long.

Yep.

Like, with them, it's like you just.

Oh, yeah, 100.

I mean, I know Jamie's had tremendous impact, and he's probably led a lot of people to Christ.

So it's it's something that's definitely going to be up your alley, bro.

So keep pressing for Jesus, bro.

That's good stuff.

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