Episode 21: Honor and Respect

Abundant Life Podcast
Abundant Life Podcast
Episode 21: Honor and Respect

In this Episode Saso and Ben with special guest Rebekah Mendez talk about honor and respect and a woman’s role as a wife.

HON’OR, verb intransitive – To revere; to respect; to treat with deference and submission, and perform relative duties to.

RESPECT‘, verb transitive – To view or consider with some degree of reverence; to esteem as possessed of real worth.

Websters 1828

Honor and respect almost seem to have overlapping meanings, to esteem or place great value.

Role of a wife and example of Sara

1 Peter 3:5-6

We do not use the term lord in reverence one to another in 2021, but the wife is still to respect and be in subjection unto her own husband

We are not to be inconsiderate in how we treat our wives.

Ephesians 5:21

Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives do you come under your husband?

Do you treat him as fool?

Do you respect him? 

It does not say submit to him if he is worthy of it but submit because that is what God has commanded you to do. There are no adding or taking away from what God has commanded us to do. Television portrays the husband as an idiot as he is treated as such but this ought not to be. 

Ephesians 5:33

Do you reverence (respect, honor) your husband or do you put him down and belittle him?

It’s important to find ways to compliment, honor and respect your husband.

Currently we live in a culture where agendas are being pushed and it’s so wonder that we have corrupted God’s plan for marriage. It’s really just rebellion against God.

1 Samuel 15:23

Did you catch that? Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft.

Do you rebel?

This is being done through entertainment and music. A while back there was a TV show called married with children. The premise of the show was that the dad was this bumbling idiot, the wife was lazy and disrespectful, his son was dysfunctional and the daughter was promiscuous. This was a blatant attack on God’s picture of marriage and family and this is just one example of what you will find on TV.

This is rebellion!

The point is that through entertainment, we have successfully conditioned men and women as to what their roles ought to be in marriage. If you think I’m being overly sensitive, then why do they call it programming (TV Program)?

Why do you think we have a generation of men who will not step up in their roles as husbands and fathers, we have women that forced into running households and essentially performing the role of a husband.

One of the keys to having endurance in your Christian walk is simply to be obedient to God’s word.  This implies 2 things. First you must read God’s word if you are to know how to be obedient. Then you must simply obey. Yes, it’s easier said than done.

This means that wives must obey God even if their husband is acting as a fool. Scripture doesn’t say “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands if he does nice things for you” it doesn’t say “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands if he is good to you” it doesn’t even say “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands if he loves you”. It says: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord”. There is no conditional clause in that verse, its an imperative verse commanding wives to submit.

What submission is not

Submission is not to men in general

This can be a highly misunderstood and sometimes an intentionally mistaken perspective. The Bible clearly states that wives are to submit to their own husbands. This does not mean women submit to all men. When a wife chooses a husband, she is also choosing her leader. This is one of the reasons why the choice of a marriage partner is so important.

Submission is not a depiction of lesser value

Submission has nothing to do with value or, to use a common term in our culture today, equality. The Bible is very clear that each individual, male and female, is created by God and valuable because we are image-bearers of God. Paul laid this out in no uncertain terms for the Christians in Galatia to those who had trusted in Jesus.

Galatians 3:28

God’s Word tells us the husband’s role in the family is to be a loving leader of his home and the wife’s role in the family is to be a willing submitter to her husband.

Jesus Himself modeled this submission when He submitted to the will of His Father, and the Bible describes it for us in Philippians 2. Jesus was, and still is, equal with the Father and of no less value, but He placed Himself under the authority of God the Father and willingly followed the will of His Father that led Him to the cross.

Submission is not an excuse to sin

A wife’s submission to her husband does not relinquish her of responsibility to do what is right before God. We are each accountable to God for our choices, whether self-pleasing or God-pleasing. The Bible gives example after example of obeying God rather than man:

  • The three Hebrews who didn’t bow before the idol King Nebuchadnezzar had set up
  • Daniel who continued to pray to God, even when it went against the king’s law
  • Peter and the other apostles who continued to preach and teach about Jesus even when they were specifically commanded not to. Their response: We ought to obey God rather than men.

If a situation arises in which a husband asks his wife to do something that is against God’s Word, she should obey God.

Submission is not an outward-only “check the box” activity

Secretly manipulating the situation or complaining behind a husband’s back is not submission. True submission first happens in the heart and is then expressed through words and actions. This doesn’t mean a wife will always be happy with what and how her husband leads. But when we delight ourselves in the Lord, in pleasing God over ourselves, in submitting to the authority God has placed over us in our marriage, God will change our hearts.

Submission is not a defeatist attitude

The choice to submit should not accompany with it an “Aw Shucks” attitude that is defeatedly resigned to negative consequences of decisions that a husband makes. A true helpmeet, the description God gave of Eve when He created her for Adam, will not sit idly by and watch her husband struggle and fail without helping him. Sharing her perspective is an important part of a wife’s “helpmeet” role.

Sometimes, that means a hard conversation. Praying and waiting on God to change hearts, including her own, is a great first step for a wife to take. Approaching the difficult topic with a submitted heart means that her timing, tone and words are respectful. Also, focusing the conversation on biblical thinking helps her husband submit to his leader, God.

God can use the wife’s role as a helpmeet to strengthen the spiritual life of her husband. In 1 Peter, the apostle described the example of Jesus that he saw with his own eyes. Jesus was humble and submissive to God and Peter tells his readers, particularly the wives:

1 Peter 3:1

Happy 1 Year Anniversary!


  1. Lanie Garcia on September 20, 2021 at 12:48 pm

    Thank you guys for investing the time in my question! Love you! Love you mom- I always appreciate your insight.

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